Of cold medicine

So maybe you’re not feeling exactly great. You’re congested, mainly, and are finding your ever-growing pile of Kleenex to be simply tedious when it starts to grow over your shins. It might be allergies, or some little cold, or maybe just some weird Wednesday thing. Whatever the case, you take some Benadryl to shake the dust off.

Holy christ.

Having never been hit like one, I can’t be absolutely sure; but, I’m fairly positive that Benadryl rolls over you like a Mac truck. One second I’m sitting here, starting to appreciate the easier breathing I have, and taking advantage of the time left now used to get things done instead of finding a tissue; and the next second I’m struggling…struggling to stay not just awake, but I think ALIVE as well.

I’m going down, and going down fast, but I luckily have the foresight to set my alarm to go off in 45 minutes before I crash into my pillow never to see the light of day again. And that’s where I am now, totally loopy on Benadryl, and fighting to maintain the consciousness that my alarm just provided. I know this stuff is supposed to make you “drowsy” but MAN; if I had a real job I’d be drooling into my keyboard right now. I’d have

7890-=
uiop[]
hjkl;'
nm,,./

permanently impressed into my forehead and
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk... on my last e-mail. Yes yes, I know there are non-drowsy versions; but just between you and me, those don’t work for crap. This, however, works a little too well.

Besides, what is it about solving your congestion problem that means you have to be knocked-out?

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