read

So I have a fairly auspicious goal that I’ve just decided
on: to document and record every single book I’ve ever
read.

ahem

This is a daunting task…and honestly quite impossible,
realistically. So, I obviously need to cull down the list somehow.
For instance:

.:list only novels

.:list only novels that I remember, and consequently must have
really liked
.:children’s books from way back are
probably not to be listed… lest they be especially good like the
Chronicles of Narnia or something
.:alphabetized? yeah
right.

So that should be enough to get me
started, I think. I do this as much for myself (so that I don’t buy
books I’ve already read) as I do for you. Peruse at will!

1984 – George Orwell
Animal Farm – George Orwell
The Picture of Dorian Gray – Oscar Wilde
A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole
Mostly Harmless – Douglas Adams
Sometimes a Great Notion – Ken Kesey
Slaughterhouse Five – Kurt Vonnegut
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe – Douglas Adams
Life, the Universe and Everything – Douglas Adams
So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish – Douglas Adams
The Catcher in the Rye – J.D. Salinger
The Sun Also Rises – Ernest Hemingway
The Inferno – Dante
The Purgatorio – Dante
The Paradiso – Dante
War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy
Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoevsky
The Communist Manifesto – Karl Marx
The Twelve Caesars – Seutonius
A Journey to the Center of the Earth – Jules Verne
From the Earth to the Moon – Jules Verne
Tales from the Thousand and One Nights
On the Road – Jack Kerouac
The Idiot – Fyodor Dostoevsky
Slapstick – Kurt Vonnegut
Wizard and Glass – Stephen King
The Queen of the Damned – Anne Rice
Dirk Gently’s Hollistic Detective Agency – Douglas Adams
The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test – Tom Wolfe
The Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck
The Dharma Bums – Jack Kerouac
The Art of Happiness – His Holiness the Dalai Lama
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest – Ken Kesey
Lord of the Flies – William Golding
The Old Man and the Sea – Ernest Hemingway
The Stranger – Albert Camus
Candide – Voltaire
The Water-Method Man – John Irving
Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy
David Copperfield – Charles Dickens
Bleak House – Charles Dickens
The Brothers Karamazov – Fyodor Dostoevsky
Breakfast of Champions – Kurt Vonnegut
The World According to Garp – John Irving
Tuesdays With Morrie – Mitch Albom
A Clockwork Orange – Anthony Burgess
A Widow for One Year – John Irving
Cat’s Cradle – Kurt Vonnegut
A Brief History of Time – Stephen Hawking
Moby Dick – Herman Melville
Don Quixote – Cervantes
Gulliver’s Travels – Jonathan Swift
Infinite Jest – David Foster Wallace
Cosmos – Carl Sagan
Pale Blue Dot – Carl Sagan
The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame
Cities of the Red Night – William S. Burroughs
Foundation – Isaac Asimov
Foundation and Empire – Isaac Asimov
Second Foundation – Isaac Asimov
Foundation’s Edge – Isaac Asimov
Foundation and Earth – Isaac Asimov
Forward the Foundation – Isaac Asimov
Nemesis – Isaac Asimov
The Alchemist – Paulo Coelho
The Art of Innovation – Tom Kelley
Billions & Billions – Carl Sagan
Catch-22 – Joseph Heller
Something Happened – Joseph Heller
Amerika – Franz Kafka
I, Claudius – Robert Graves
A Son of the Circus – John Irving
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea – Jules Verne
Hard Times – Charles Dickens
Fahrenheit 451 – Ray Bradbury
Timequake – Kurt Vonnegut
Barbary Shore – Norman Mailer
Immortality – Milan Kundera
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius – Dave Eggers
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer – Mark Twain
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn – Mark Twain
Captain Blood – Rafael Sabatini
The Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas
Uncle Tom’s Cabin – Harriet Beecher Stowe
The War of the Worlds – H.G. Wells
Dead Souls – Nikolai Gogol
Hocus Pocus – Kurt Vonnegut
The Master and Margarita – Mikhail Bulgakov
The Invisible Man – H.G. Wells
Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens
Steppenwolf – Herman Hesse
Siddhartha – Herman Hesse
Picture This – Jospeh Heller
Insomnia – Stephen King
The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul – Douglas Adams
The Stand – Stephen King
Oedipus the King – Sophocles
Great Expectations – Charles Dickens
Naked Lunch – William S. Burroughs
The Cider House Rules – John Irving
Ideas and Opinions – Albert Einstein
The Hotel New Hampshire – John Irving
Einstein’s Dreams – Alan P. Lightman
Wiseguy – Nicholas Pileggi
The Dead Zone – Stephen King
Frankenstein – Mary Shelley
Interview with the Vampire – Anne Rice
Lasher – Anne Rice
The Witching Hour – Anne Rice
A Prayer for Owen Meany – John Irving
The 158-Pound Marriage – John Irving
Call of the Wild – Jack London
White Fang – Jack London
Iliad – Homer
The Odyssey – Homer
Generation X – Douglas Coupland
Necroscope – Brian Lumley
Vamphyri! – Brian Lumley
The Source – Brian Lumley
Deadspeak – Brian Lumley
Deadspawn – Brian Lumley
The Regulators – Richard Bachman
Around the World in Eighty Days – Jules Verne
Taltos – Anne Rice
Desperation – Stephen King
Nightfall – Isaac Asimov
Something Wicked This Way Comes – Ray Bradbury
The Martian Chronicles – Ray Bradbury
Dandelion Wine – Ray Bradbury
The Illustrated Man – Ray Bradbury
Nightmares & Dreamscapes – Stephen King
Four Past Midnight – Stephen King
Scarlet Letter – Nathaniel Hawthorne
Rose Madder – Stephen King
The Green Mile – Stephen King
Dolores Claiborne – Stephen King
Gerald’s Game – Stephen King
The Waste Lands – Stephen King
Neuromancer – William Gibson
The Bridges of Madison County – Robert James Waller
The Tommyknockers – Stephen King
The Gunslinger – Stephen King
Thinner – Stephen King
Pet Sematary – Stephen King
The Drawing of the Three – Stephen King
The Dark Half – Stephen King
Different Seasons – Stephen King
Skeleton Crew – Stephen King
Misery – Stephen King
The Talisman – Stephen King, Peter Straub
The Hobbit – J.R.R. Tolkien
The Lord of the Rings – J.R.R. Tolkien
The Fellowship of the Rings – J.R.R. Tolkien
The Chamber – John Grisham
Memnoch the Devil – Anne Rice
The Tale of the Body Thief – Anne Rice
Ramses the Damned – Anne Rice
The Vampire Lestat – Anne Rice
Foucault’s Pendulum – Umberto Eco
The Prince and the Pauper – Mark Twain
The Pearl – John Steinbeck
The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe – C.S. Lewis
Prince Caspian – C.S. Lewis
The Voyage of the Dawn Treader – C.S. Lewis
The Silver Chair – C.S. Lewis
The Horse and His Boy – C.S. Lewis
The Magician’s Nephew – C.S. Lewis
The Last Battle – C.S. Lewis
A Time to Kill – John Grisham
Rainmaker – John Grisham
Jurassic Park – Michael Crichton
To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee
It – Stephen King
Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck
Shampoo Planet – Douglas Coupland
A Wrinkle in Time – Madeleine L’Engle
A Tale of Two Cities – Charles Dickens
Invisible Man – Ralph Ellison
Ham on Rye – Charles Bukowski
You Shall Know Our Velocity – Dave Eggers
A Farewell to Arms – Ernest Hemingway
In Dubious Battle – John Steinbeck
Even Cowgirls Get the Blues – Tom Robbins
For Whom the Bell Tolls – Ernest Hemingway
The Winter of our Discontent – John Steinbeck
Breakfast at Tiffany’s – Truman Capote
Little Women – Louisa May Alcott
Veronika Decides to Die – Paulo Coelho
Galapagos – Kurt Vonnegut
Into the Wild – Jon Krakauer
Shopgirl – Steve Martin
East of Eden – John Steinbeck
The Mysterious Island – Jules Verne
Night – Elie Wiesel
Ender’s Game – Orson Scott Card
Holes – Louis Sachar
The Survivors of the Chancellor – Jules Verne
Naked – David Sedaris
Raise the Titanic! – Clive Cussler
Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World – Haruki Murakami
The Curious Incident if the Dog in the Night-Time – Mark Haddon
A Wild Sheep Chase – Haruki Murakami
Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad
Norwegian Wood – Haruki Murakami
White Noise – Don Delillo
Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters – J.D. Salinger
Black Like Me – John Howard Griffin
The Celestine Prophecy – James Redfield
Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim – David Sedaris
The Wind Up Bird Chronicle – Haruki Murakami
The Fourth Hand – John Irving
The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green – Joshua Braff
Mao II – Don Delillo
Kafka on the Shore – Haruki Murakami
A Scanner Darkly – Philip K. Dick
Howard Hughes: His Life and Madness – Donald L. Barlett and James Steele
The Da Vinci Code – Dan Brown
Underworld – Don Delillo
Dance Dance Dance – Haruki Murakami
The Pickwick Paper – Charles Dickens
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay – Michael Chabon
Women – Charles Bukowski
Until I Find You – John Irving
Wolves of the Calla – Stephen King
South of the Border, West of the Sun – Haruki Murakami
The Yiddish Policeman’s Union – Michael Chabon
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close – Jonathan Safran Foer
The Mysteries of Pittsburgh – Michael Chabon
Hollywood – Charles Bukowski
Everything is Illuminated – Jonathan Safran Foer
A Long Way Down – Nick Hornby
What Is the What – Dave Eggers
The Fountainhead – Ayn Rand
Post Office – Charles Bukowski
Factotum – Charles Bukowski
Love is a Dog From Hell – Charles Bukowski
Watchmen – Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons
Invitation to a Beheading – Vladimir Nabokov
Sputnick Sweetheart – Haruki Murakami
The Elephant Vanishes – Haruki Murakami
Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom – Cory Doctorow
Little Brother – Cory Doctorow
Tom Sawyer Abroad – Mark Twain
Robinson Crusoe – Daniel Defoe
Someone Comes to Town, Someone Leaves Town – Cory Doctorow
Eastern Standard Tribe – Cory Doctorow
How To Be Good – Nick Hornby
Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly – Anthony Bourdain
The Wild Things – Dave Eggers
Deadeye Dick – Kurt Vonnegut
Ubik – Philip K. Dick
Pulp – Charles Bukowski
Valis – Philip K. Dick
After Dark – Haruki Murakami
Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said – Philip K. Dick
Last Night in Twisted River – John Irving
Fight Club: A Novel – Chuck Palahniuk
Under The Dome – Stephen King
Choke: A Novel – Chuck Palahniuk
God Hates Us All – Hank Moody
Apathy And Other Small Victories – Paul Neilan
Gentlemen Of The Road – Michael Chabon
Help! A Bear Is Eating Me! – Mykle Hansen
John Dies At The End – David Wong
The Adventures of a Special Correspondent – Jules Verne
Island – Aldous Huxley
Bite Me: A Love Story – Christopher Moore
You Suck – Christopher Moore
Bloodsucking Fiends – Christopher Moore
The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch – Philip K. Dick
Neverwhere – Neil Gaiman
Good Omens – Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
American Gods – Neil Gaiman
Ghost and Lightning – Trevor Byrne
A Dirty Job – Christopher Moore
Laughter in the Dark – Vladimir Nabokov
1Q84 – Haruki Murakami
Island of the Sequined Love Nun – Christopher Moore
Steve Jobs – Walter Isaacson
The Penultimate Truth – Philip K. Dick
Leadership and Self-Deception: Geeting out of the Box – Arbinger Institute
The Average American Male – Chad Kultgen
The Lie – Chad Kultgen
Empire of the Sun – J.G. Ballard
The Edge of Tomorrow – Isaac Asimov
The Toynbee Convector – Ray Bradbury
Out of the Silent Planet – C.S. Lewis
E.T. The Book of the Green Planet – William Kotzwinkle
The Star Wars Trilogy – George Lucas
The Neverending Story – Michael Ende
The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood
11/22/63 – Stephen King
Coyote Blue – Christopher Moore
Vonnegut and Douglas Adams rewrite Brave New World and find The Future Perfect – Kirk Mustard
Song of Susannah – Stephen King
The Dark Tower VII – Stephen King
Lamb – Christopher Moore
Counter-Clock World – Philip K. Dick
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas – Hunter S. Thompson
The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared – Jonas Jonasson
Pirate Cinema – Cory Doctorow
Juliet, Naked – Nick Hornby
You Don’t Need a Title to be a Leader – Mark Sanborn
Hell’s Angels: A Strange and Terrible Saga – Hunter S. Thompson
Unknown Pleasures: Inside Joy Division – Peter Hook
Indigo Slam – Robert Crais
All Access – Alan Hess
The Man in the High Castle – Philip K. Dick
In One Person – John Irving
God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater – Kurt Vonnegut
It’s So Easy, And Other Lies – Duff McKagan
Ask The Dust – John Fante
Bluebeard: The Autobiography of Rabo Karabekian – Kurt Vonnegut
Wait Until Spring, Bandini – John Fante
Dreams From Bunker Hill – John Fante
Factory Girls: From Village to City in a Changing China – Leslie T. Chang
The Road to Los Angeles – John Fante
The Circle – Dave Eggers
The Tin Drum – Günter Grass
Oryx and Crake – Margaret Atwood
The Year of the Flood – Margaret Atwood
MaddAddam – Margaret Atwood
Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage – Haruki Murakami
Sorcerer’s Apprentice – An Incredible Journey Into The World of India’s Godmen – Tahir Shah
The Rise & Fall of Great Powers, a Novel – Tom Rachman
The Imperfectionists – Tom Rachman
Ready Player One – Ernest Cline
Secondhand Souls – Christopher Moore
The Martian – Andy Weir
Pebble in the Sky – Isaac Asimov
Red Rising – Pierce Brown
Golden Sun – Pierce Brown
Morning Star – Pierce Brown
Alias Grace – Margaret Atwood
Homeland – Cory Doctorow
Fool: A Novel – Christopher Moore
Seveneves – Neal Stephenson
Snow Crash – Neal Stephenson
Leviathan Wakes – James S. A. Corey
Caliban’s War – James S. A. Corey
Abaddon’s Gate – James S. A. Corey
Cibola Burn – James S. A. Corey
Packing For Mars – Mary Roach
Nemesis Games – James S. A. Corey
Babylon’s Ashes – James S. A. Corey
Kili Me Softly – Aggie Lal
Heroes of the Frontier – Dave Eggers
Mr. Mercedes – Stephen King
Finders Keepers – Stephen King
End of Watch – Stephen King
Persepolis Rising – James S. A. Corey
Altered Carbon – Richard K. Morgan
Artemis – Andy Weir
The Outsider – Stephen King
Iron Gold – Pierce Brown
The Stupidest Angel – Christopher Moore
Practical Demonkeeping – Christopher Moore
Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove – Christopher Moore
Killing Commentadore – Haruki Murakami
Mother Night – Kurt Vonnegut
Go Set a Watchman – Harper Lee
Stern Men – Elizabeth Gilbert
Endurance: A Year in Space, a Lifetime of Discovery – Scott Kelly
Talking to Strangers – Malcolm Gladwell
Attack Surface – Cory Doctorow
The Wind Through the Keyhole: The Dark Tower IV 1/2 – Stephen King
Project Hail Mary – Andy Weir
Tiamat’s Wrath – James S. A. Corey
God Save The Child – Robert B. Parker
Telegraph Avenue – Michael Chabon
Crome Yellow – Aldous Huxley
I Was a Rat! – Philip Pullman
The Alienist – Caleb Carr
A Slight Trick of the Mind – Mitch Cullin
Serpent – Clive Cussler
Chump Change – Dan Fante
Claudius the God and His Wife Messalina – Robert Graves
Fargo Rock City – Chuck Klosterman
Loving Time – Leslie Glass
A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court – Mark Twain
Player Piano – Kurt Vonnegut
I, Robot – Isaac Asimov
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? – Philip K. Dick
The Time Machine – H. G. Wells
The God’s Themselves – Isaac Asimov
Contact – Carl Sagan
McSweeney’s #10 Mammoth Treasury of Thrilling Tales – Michael Chabon
How We Are Hungry – Dave Eggers
Dreamcatcher – Stephen King
Johnny Mnemonic – William Gibson
Night Shift – Stephen King
Needful Things – Stephen King
The Shining – Stephen King
The Name of the Rose – Umberto Eco
The Diary of a Young Girl – Anne Frank
Brave New World – Aldous Huxley
The Trial – Franz Kafka
Red Mars – Kim Stanley Robinson
All Systems Red – Martha Wells
Artificial Condition – Martha Wells
Rogue Protocol – Martha Wells
Exit Strategy – Martha Wells
Network Effect – Martha Wells
Fugitive Telemetry – Martha Wells
Leviathan Falls – James S. A. Corey
Edison – Edmund Morris
A Man – Keiichiro Hiran
Dark Age – Pierce Brown
Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen
Gulp – Mary Roach
Avenue of Mysteries – John Irving
The Every – Dave Eggers
Station Eleven – Emily St. John Mandel
Sea of Tranquility – Emily St. John Mandel
Grunt: The Curious Science of Humans at War – Mary Roach
Wool – Hugh Howey
Shift – Hugh Howey
Dust – Hugh Howey
The Zoomable Universe – Caleb Scharf
Sand – Hugh Howey
Across The Sand – Hugh Howey

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