I just turned on the TV to see Katie Couric interviewing Elvis’ tour manager, “Diamond Joe” Esposito.

Aside: not, by the way, affiliated with the real Joseph “Diamond Joe” Esposito. So named for his penchant for diamond cuff links, shirt studs, rings, belt buckles, etc…which he wore while being a *cough cough* “legitimate business man” *cough* until he was inexplicably machine-gunned to death by Al Capone’s boys.

To continue, Katie appeared on the screen, be-skirted legs curled demurely under her, as she interviewed Diamond Joe…

in the back seat of a Cadillac…

a red convertible Cadillac…

in Graceland.

I had forgotten what real news looked like.