From the “oh me? I was way out in left field and decided to come over” file comes this article from Web Techniques about the emerging corporate position of Chief Experience Officer. What, you say, is a CXO? That’s exactly what I said to myself as I sat here surfing the web in my Cheetos-fingerprinted tightie-whities and stained wife-beater. According to Challis Hodge, a CEO who just hired a CXO for it’s B-to-C, HH, “The CXO should ensure that an organization delivers the appropriate experience at every point of contact it makes with the public. This CXO must understand the processes, methods, and tools necessary to understand people, and should be able to translate that understanding into successful points of contact with users, customers, shareholders, employees, partners, and visitors.” Right.

As long as everyone else is making up nonsensical jobs for themselves, I’d like to nominate myself as CSFO. As Chief Self-Fattening Officer, it will be my responsibility to protect the client from a dangerous amount of free donuts and pork chops by eating them myself. What can I say? I’m a giver…