This is what I’ve decided: all women who I am attracted to are taken. Not “all the women in L.A.” are taken, or “all the women I’ve come across lately”… all women, everywhere, that I’m attracted to, are taken.
For instance, I went to a party tonight at Saints & Sinners, and there she was. Gorgeous, of course, and interesting, and talkative, and blah blah engaged blah blah.
And I’m so sick in the head, I had to talk myself out of really hitting on her (as oppossed to my usual low-level flirtation that is always ALWAYS on and part of what I like to think of as my charm but is probably taken more as my sleeziness).
I had to call a girl friend of mine wih my emergency and literally say, “Engaged equals bad, right? Walk away, right?” and I was asking in earnest with sincerity. “Dude!” she said, a little flabbergasted that I could really be so stupid. I mean, I seem like a reasonably intelligent guy, so ‘Dude!’ seemed appropriate. “But she’s here alone,” I countered, “I mean, no fiancee with her? What’s that about?” To which my friend replied with a sigh, “dude…”
It’s sad… especially because I’ve fallen so far from grace that I’m even thinking about if I should have explored things further some 2 hours later. Of course I shouldn’t have explored things further and what I did do was the right thing with my, “Very nice to meet you, good luck with your etc etc” even though she was clearly my soulmate.
I think it’s frustration. I’m coming from what Jules likes to call being a Serial Monogomist to this encoded list:
The bride’s sister
And that’s just who I can remember, I have the sneaking suspicion that there are at least a half a dozen more that I’ve already forgotten.
That’s not bravado, that’s a call for help.
Clearly, it’s not a question of meeting anyone, it’s a question of meeting the right one. I have to admit, though, it’s been a hell of a good time.
It occurs to me, that there is the ever so slight chance that it’s not actually the women of LA’s fault. It may be someone, or a group of someones, else’s fault. Perhaps an unholy cabal bent on world domination.
OK, or maybe it’s even my deal.
More importantly, I’m having a party next weekend. Who’s coming?