I’m not a big fan of Mondays… which is a little bit like saying, “I’m not a big fan of getting punched in the face.” Of course I’m not a big fan of Mondays. Who is? Coma victims who regain consciousness on Monday morning, homeless people because they don’t care what day it is, and possibly the Nielsen company for some unknown , statistical reason.

I suppose it would be more appropriate to say, “I’m not a big fan of work days”. Though I do like my job, I’d still rather be at the beach. Like those license-plate frames, “I’d rather be quilting”. I wonder about stuff like that; would the driver really rather be quilting? If (given the opportunity to do so) the person replaced the time he or she usually spends driving with quilting, would they still be having such a good time? Most likely, they would be constructing a massive quilt, fully brocaded and embroidered, with the saying “I’d rather be driving” emblazoned across the front.

I don’t actually know what “brocaded” means, but it sounded appropriate.

This weekend, I saw two movies which, if you’re anything like me at all, you will also enjoy immensely. Seeing as you’re not, though, tread carefully.

The first was Everything Is Illuminated with Elijah Wood, whom I always confuse with Tobey Maguire and vice-versa. All I will say about this is that I found myself repeating, “Many women want to get carnal with me because I am such a premium dancer.” all weekend. I don’t think I should have to say anything else to get you to want to run out and rent this movie.

The second was Me and You and Everyone We Know. This movie was just weird, and I like weird. There was a part about poop that had M laughing incredibly loud, which I also like.

Christ I suck at movie reviews. It’s a wonder I was ever able to complete a book report.

The book that I read was On the Road by Jack Kerouac. This book was published in 1959 by Viking Compass Edition. This was a very good book. I think Jack Kerouac is a very very good writer. Some parts of the book were very funny, and some parts of the book were very sad. I also thought that the book was very scary sometimes when I think about hitchhiking. I would probably recommend this book to my friends very much but I don’t know if they would like the part about hitchhiking very much.

Good thing I slept with the dean. Wait, what?