Max Power

Homer: Your honor? I’d like to sue the producers of “Police Cops” for twenty million dollars for improper use of my name.

Judge: Court finds in favor of “Police Cops”. Next case.

Homer: [shuffles papers] Then I’d like to legally change my name!

Judge: What name would you prefer?

Homer: Any of these will be fine.

Judge: Hmm. “Hercules Rockefeller”. “Rembrandt Q. Einstein”. “Handsome B. Wonderful”. Huh, I’m going to give you the only name you spelt correctly. From this day forward, your name shall be …[cut to a shot of Lisa, reading from a sheet of paper on the Simpsons’ couch]

Lisa: “Max Power“?

Homer: Dynamic, isn’t it?

Bart: I love it, Max.

Marge: You changed your name without consulting me?

Homer: That’s the way Max Power is, Marge. Decisive. Uncompromising! And rude!

Abe: Oh, wait a minute. The family name is my legacy to you. I got it from my father, and he got it from his father, and he traded a mule for it! And that mule went on to save Spring Break!

Marge: But this will be so confusing! The mailman won’t know what to do. Did you think of the mailman at all before you did this?

Homer: Yes, briefly.

Marge: And what about the tattoo on my you-know-what?

Homer: Oh, Honey, they have acids that can burn that off.

Marge: But I fell in love with Homer Simpson! I don’t want to snuggle with “Max Power”!

Homer: Nobody snuggles with Max Power. You strap yourself in and feel the “G”s!

Marge: Oh, Lord.

Homer: And it doesn’t stop in the bedroom. Oh, no. I’m taking charge! Kids, there’s three ways to do things. The right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way!

Bart: Isn’t that the wrong way?

Homer: Yeah, but faster!

As I alluded to in the last post, I’m going to Vegas this weekend. And I intend to do so the Max Power way. My co-conspirator, Jules, apparently agrees as she sent me this itinerary:


1050am Print your boarding pass.


845am: You come over to my place and we drive to the Parking Spot together. We can take my car you or yours. Doesn’t matter.
915am: Go through security
1000am: Julie takes call from girlfriend from France
1035am: Jump on plane
1050am: Take-off
1115am: 2 Amstel Lights please
1140am: 2 Vodka Tonics please
100pm: Jump in a cab to Mandalay
120pm: Grab lunch and continue to drink until check-in time
300pm: Check-in and take a nap
500pm: Get ready for an evening of gambling and boozing

There will be stories.

This entry was posted in uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.