It’s my 10-year high school reunion this year. My mother called to tell me that, though I probably wouldn’t be interested (how did she know?), she’s forwarding me the packet They sent to her house anyway.

I graduated from high school ten years ago! (This, by the way, seems like nothing I’m sure for those of you that graduated from college ten years ago… and even less to those of you who are several decades past your graduation date; but, still, you can empathize right?)

This is supposed to be the time when I show up with my beautiful model wife in my new Lamborghini, talk about how many islands I just bought from the proceeds of my several successful businesses, and laugh at the flabbiness of the football players in comparison to the svelteness of my Apollo-like frame. Also, I’m to leave the head cheerleader breathless and wanting more.

Sadly, reality is just slightly to the left of that. I remain a poor, unfortunate, laid-off engineer; a nameless statistical casualty to the dot-bomb fiasco. Not only do I not have a Lamborghini, but my very, very old truck recently decided to have it’s interior door handle snap off. Let me tell you, nothing impresses the ladies like climbing out of the passenger side. I am, at least, in good physical condition (not having the money to eat will do that for you), and I certainly can’t complain about one other thing: I do have the model girlfriend.

Still, though, I’m leaning towards not going. The kind of people that will go are most likely the kinds of people I’m not terribly interested in seeing. I’ve kept in touch with only a scant few of the people I went to school with (for better or worse), and don’t expect to see them there. The enduring fantasy of seducing all the ladeez that I always wanted back then is tempered by the fact that I’m spoken for and happy about it, and that fantasy never holds up to reality anyway. I’m envisioning two kids and 40 extra pounds for each of them… is that cruel or just realistic?

So, for those of you in the same boat, or those that have experienced The Reunion, or those that are about to. What do you think? Yay or nay?

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