floorpie

These are getting funny. I totally understand why they even attempt after the obvious gullibility of the American people (judging by the last election); but, really, who falls for this stuff?

I am Miss Achan Manute . The Daughter of MR. DOL JOHN MANUTE from Sudan. I am sorry; this mail will surprise you,

though we do not know, this intended to be the main information, I think you might have heard about what I am about to tell you in the world news. Due to the current war between the Muslim north and the Christian south. My father wasone of the black African Sudanese richest Cattle Farmer. One cool afternoon the Janjaweed militias invaded my father’s farm in Darfur and burn down everything in the farm; They killed my Father and took away a lot of items from his farm.

After the death of my father, my self and my mother escaped to Chad. recently my mother revealed to me on a sick bed, that when my late father foresee the war coming; he gathered his money and sold most of his things and deposited the money which amounted to $9.5m

with a private security firm as precious family belongings.

My mother and I are therefore requesting your assistance to help us claim this fund and to help us wisely invest this money in your country.

We have also mapped out 20% as compensation for your assistance and 5% for any expenses during the transaction.

Please kindly contact me immediately via email for easy communication and I will furnish you with details of the transaction.

May God richly bless you for affecting ourlives.

Regards,
>Miss Achan Mary Manute.

While writing this post, I just decided, “You know what, I’m totally writing “her” back. So here’s my reply:

Miss Manute-

>Thank you for contactng me, I think I can help you. I am saddened and dismayed to hear what has happened to your family, I hope you are finding some comfort and happiness with Chad. It is terrible what is happenning in the world today. Please let me know how I can help, as I am very concerned with your plight and have had similar suffering.

Godspeed,
Janna

Hopefully, they’ll get back to me so I can flesh out Janna’s terrible life.

Is it bad that I’m still pissed off about the election? If I can summarize the Administration’s positions, they are:

.: Pro-Life
.: Pro Death Penalty
.: against stem-cell research
.: wants tax cuts that will add to the record-breaking deficit
.: opposes increasing the minimum wage
.: supports school vouchers
.: wants to ease restrictions on industrial pollutants
.: attacked Iraq on a thin web of incorrect evidence for WMD’s and refuses to acknowledge his mistake
.: wants to change Social Security so that the masses will be able to easily and effectively gamble away everything on the stock market
.: supports the flawed national missile defense shield (I should know just how flawed, I worked on it
.: let the assault weapon ban lapse
.: is against gay marriage
.: gave the elderly prescription drug care

The only thing I can stand behind him on that list, is the last one. As for the rest, I categorically hate, or at least oppose, Bush’s position on every other one of those points. Every other one! I vote across Party lines, I’ve always seen the good on both sides. This is the first time that I have been so completely against a President, and I am baffled that 51% of you support all of the above junk.

My theory, though, is that you got duped. Or, more correctly, you didn’t do your homework as much as you should, and the incumbent is always the easiest one to get behind. I’ve heard arguments for Bush that say he’s the only one that can win this war. Did it escape your attention that he’s the only one that started it, too? That it has nothing to do with terrorism, and certainly not WMD’s? What really, are you voting for?

And don’t get me started on the religious right. Separation of church and state was supposed to mean… wait, what was it?… ah yes, separation of church and state. Unfortunately though, we now live in a religious oligarchy. Just like other wonderfully stable religion-centric states like, Palestine, Israel, and, Iraq. Great choice.
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iPods provided in upscale hotels
Robot cats begin world domination
The much anticipated (though fearfully) Star Wars, Episode IIItrailer
>17 reasons not to slit your wrists

I’m applying for my new passport today.

Show of hands if you cried yourself to sleep last night. Ah, 50+ million of you, I see.

>I guess the American spirit is really about right-wing Christian agendas, live for the now, anti-environment, and extreme isolationism. Oh, and being in a constant state of danger. Here I thought it was about apple pie. Ah well.

For my Canadian readers, how’s Vancouver this time of year, and do I want to live there?

Rock the Vote, Suckah!

Mr. T vs. everything
The Pentagon strike. plane or missile?

I “love” spam:

As you know election time is not the best thing for the economy. Economy is in a very unstable condition, as you can see gas prices are going up along with the m o rtgeage rat e s. Once the r a te goes up you will not have a chance to s av e money again for a very long time.

It is your last chance. Get R e f inanced at 4.2 point!

I can’t wait to refinance based on a sketchy e-mail with the subject line Re: going under the gateway. Where do I sign up? Let me give you my money!

The thing I don’t understand about Alcoholics Anonymous is how it’s really not all that anonymous… or perhaps it is anonymous (“Hi, I’m David K.”), it’s just not secret which I’d prefer to think of it as.

I always envision a kins of secret society where at midnight, through a circuitous path, individuals arrive at an undisclosed location to discuss plans for world domination over coffee and donuts. I don’t mean to make light of those batlling alcoholism, that’s just the mental image I get whenever I think of AA.
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What I do mean to make light of is the sketchy AA facility right next to my office in Hollywood that has a big green sign saying Alcoholics Anonimous. Which just brings to mind all kinds of “I’m not as think as you drunk I am” jokes to me.

Vote

You’re fat
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The average weight was 191 pounds! I find that astounding. I’m 6’0″ and weigh between 165-175 depending on whether or not I have my layer of winter fat on yet and whether my thicker coat has grown in. I’m not especially big, or especially small, and thought (up until today) that I was average.
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I just went and calculated, in a group of 3-5 people, how much someone would have to weigh if most of the rest of the people weighed the same as me, in order to meet the national average. I will save you from my geekery. Needless to say, it was a lot.

191 pounds on average!

I don’t understand the fascination guys seem to have with not flushing urinals. I mean, the flushing bit is the part where we get closure. I’m not sure if it’s some sort of territorial thing, but I can personally attest that I would be much more likely to mark my territory with, I don’t know, “Call Justine for a good time 867-5309” than I would a few ounces of piss with gum and cigarettes floating in it.
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But that’s just me.