floorpie

Janet Janet Janet.

All the talk be ’bout Janet.

Did she mean to? Was it a wardrobe malfunction? Why is it so floppy?

All the talk be ’bout Janet.

I know that all the ladeez in my neighborhood routinely wear metal sun medallions under their clothes at all times; under their lace crop tops while going to the supermarket , under their sports bras on the stair master, under their boyfriends’ T-shirts sitting on the couch watching A Wedding Story. Everywhere. So it’s understandable that people would naturally assume that the boobage was unplanned.

Besides which, all of my clothes break away in meted-out portions based on erotic impact. No tearing, no fuss. Just first the cod-piece, then the butt cheeks (left than right, left being the better side), abs nicely traced out when you pull in the right place and on and on. Obviously, Janet’s clothes are largely the same. Such a terrible embarrassing mishap.

Of more interest was this guy, who was sadly covered up by advertisements or statistics. Obviously this is just a poor sod who was running late for the game and unfortunately forgot his undershirt, referee jersey, stretch pants, whistle, and underwear; and then accidentally wrote goldenpalace.com in perfectly blocked letters on his back..

He remembered his hat though, thank God.

Now that’s a real wardrobe malfunction, considering the importance of the event.

Apparently, I am number 9 on wisenut.com’s search for wheelchair sexy.

I mean, really, shouldn’t I at least be top 5?

The Wendy’s in San Dimas is the most efficient business in the world. When, like me, you have a lot of work to do and no time to do it, and have to go to a drive-thru and rush back to your office, I highly suggest you go to the Wendy’s next to the Home Depot. The time you spend in travel will be more than made up for in the time you save in the drive-thru.

I literally am the limiting factor in the operation; and, order-to-drive-away would be roughly 3 seconds if I could count out money faster and drive without stopping.

I don’t understand falling asleep while driving.

Actually, I do understand falling asleep while driving in that I’ve caught my self several times feeling my mind drift away during some long journey. What I don’t understand is how your body can do that: speeding along at speeds well past your breaking point and deciding that that moment seems like a good time to go ahead and take a nap.

Just a thought I had gliding in to work today, fully awake, but wishing I wasn’t.

I’m sure you’ve all seen this, as it’s making the e-mail rounds. Entertaining nonetheless, and 320.9 is your number to beat!

UPDATE So many of you have seen the yeti hitting the penguin, in fact, that it would seem that the site is down. Good luck with that.

On the road again

I’m off to San Diego this afternoon for some job-related slacking training. Meaning that, of the last 30 days, I have spent 5 at home; which is a statistic that surprised me when I just figured it out.

I really don’t mind all that much, especially when traveling for work, as in many ways I save money through the subsidized meals and flight/car/gas reimbursements; not to mention the free flights and hotel stays I’m “earning” through my patronage. I don’t much like not seeing ADG all that much, however.

Happy Blogiversary

Less importantly, I missed my three year blogiversary a few weeks ago. It’s all a drug-induced haze, really, but I think they’ve been good times… I continue nonetheless at any rate. I’m not entirely sure why you didn’t shower me with gifts over the event (especially as you missed my birthday and Christmas); but, don’t worry, there’s still time.

Can’t sleep, clown will eat me.

Seriously though, having wireless internet access is probably the coolest thing ever.

I’ll be spending the next 19 hours travelling; the bulk of them in the air, a great many in Korea, and the rest in some kind of time-warp. From my perspective, I’m going home today, Friday. From your perspective (where “you” are ADG), it’s still Thursday and my arrival is still a long way off.

That whole time zone thing is totally weird.

The thing about Taiwan is the queue. It’s not an especially clean city, it’s not an especially orderly city (just look at the traffic for 30 seconds); but somehow, strangely, it’s all about the queue. For whatever reason, the Taiwanese line up, orderly and quietly, in every situation that even implies a line. Waiting for the bus? Queue up. Waiting for the metro? Queue again. Taxi, grocery checkout, vending machine? Queue, queue, queue.

There are, of course, many situations where it makes perfect sense to stand in line… at the grocery store for instance. But a bus stop? 15 minutes before a bus is even going to arrive? In the rain? It’s an interesting phenomenon to say the least.

In the local metro, the train stops, as in most cities, at a predefined location (and I don’t mean “the station”, I mean at a specific point at the train stop). Therefore, the door location is marked on the floor so that you might know where to expect to board. The markings consist of three arrows. Two face towards the train and are on either of the outside edges of the door, and faces away from the train, right down the middle. Presumably, these markings indicate that people should exit the train right down the middle, while people enter the train from the sides. The Taiwanese apparently agree with me, as they queue up along these enter lines as they wait for the train to arrive. They don’t stand around in groups chatting, they don’t wander up and down the platform, whiling away the minutes. They line up orderly and quietly.