floorpie

You may have heard that a magnitude 7.8 quake has hit Japan. This post will be in extremely bad taste if there are a massive amount of lives lost (7.8 is pretty horrifically big after all), but something struck me odd about the report:

A strong quake with a preliminary magnitude of 7.8 rocked the northern island of Hokkaido early Friday morning, knocking out power, reportedly derailing a train and touching off an industrial fire…

The quake struck in the Pacific Ocean, about 65 miles south-southwest of Kushiro and 495 miles north-northeast of Tokyo, said John Minsch, a geophysicist for the U.S. agency.

“That makes it more likely to be a tsunami, and there’s most likely to be a great amount of damage,” Minsch said.

That part doesn’t bother me. I am sufficiently awed and rightly concerned for the people of Japan, and it’s neighboring territories; visions of 40-foot high tsunamis crashing into poor villagers and washing them away, glubbing and sputtering their last breaths. But then it says this:

Japan’s meteorological agency warned that waves of up to 3 feet were expected to hit coastal areas.

Oh the horror! Take cover! Three foot wa… wait, what? THREE foot waves? You mean that “massive” amounts of water will be rushing towards me at… barely waste level? I am no longer sufficiently awed. I am not duly impressed. Three foot waves sounds like a tame day at the beach. Three foot waves are usually pretty walled-out with no tubes. Three foot waves are nothing to report to the news about.

Or am I missing something big? (no pun intended)

I’m recalling now, for no particular reason, that one of the details of my dreams last night was that I was reading the comments on my blog and reacting and replying to them. Is it as horrible a sign as I think it is that I was dreaming about blogging?

Not naked Playboy models… blogging.

I work on the second floor of a two-story building. The bathroom (which I frequent regularly) is advertised as handicapped-enabled, what with the placard on the door emblazoned with a little stick-figure wheelchair man next to a larger stick-figure non-handicapped man. I have some problems with this:

(1) There’s a difference between what you say you are, and what you are. For instance, I often tell people that I am the World’s Greatest Lover. Though undoubtedly really really good, I admittedly don’t have any actual empirical evidence to back my claim, having not rated the bulk of lovers in the world. While it is most likely true that I am indeed the best, until I have proof of the fact, I really shouldn’t say so.
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Another example? While the bathroom clearly indicates that it’s handicapped enabled, you wouldn’t be able to tell by it’s standard narrow stalls… and lack of handrails.

(2) If at all possible, reality should always temper your claims. Remember that time you were showing off for a girl back in the day and you thought it would be really cool to jump across the picnic benches in front of everyone, thereby displaying your apparently sexy jumping ability, agility, and balance? Well, you should have taken reality into account and saved myself from missing the mark widely and barking my shins on the edge of the table so that I had to choke back the tears.
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Also, the reality that a handicapped person could even get to the woefully un-prepared bathroom is extremely unlikely… what with the total lack of elevators in the building.

We’re back in business

A federal appeals court Tuesday unanimously reinstated California’s Oct. 7 gubernatorial recall election, swiftly rejecting a three-judge panel’s decision to put it off for months.

Hours later, the American Civil Liberties Union said it would not appeal the ruling to the U.S. Supreme Court, removing the final legal roadblock to the election just two weeks away.

I guess I’d better actually read that Bible-sized voter information “pamphlet” I got in the mail yesterday.

Traffic in L.A. is a nightmare. In my opinion, it’s really no worse than any other major city; and is, in fact, better than what I used to troll through in the Bay Area. Having said that, traffic in L.A. is a nightmare, and people lose their lives everyday just trying to get to work, or go to breakfast, or take their kids to school, or drive over to their girlfriend’s house, or go to the post office to mail love letters, or stop by KFC or on and on and on.

This particular morning, at least one person lost their life when a tanker truck exploded. Below is an edited report of the accident, as it came in to the dispatcher. It’s interesting, and a little chilling.

(starts at the bottom)

7:30AM – PLZ ROLL SOUTH GATE TO CLARA OVER CROSSING OVER THE 710, CROWD GATHERING THERE

6:13AM – UNITED PUMPING IS 1097 AND WILL OFF LOAD THE REMAINING FUEL FM TANKER – THERE IS HIGH DANGER DUE TO THE GASOLINE FUMES IN STORM DRAINS WHICH WILL REQUIRE THE SB 710 LANES TO BE CLOSED FOR APPROX 1 MORE HOUR – THE NB 710 WILL REMAIN CLOSED FOR APPROX 4 HOURS MORE

5:49AM – BOTH TANKS ENGULFED IN FLAMES / GAS THAT DID NOT BURN DID SPILL – UNK AMOUNT

5:12AM – NEED ADDL FLARES / AND NEED CONES

3:57AM – PLS HAVE CALTRANS RESP A SIGN TRK ,CONES, AND SAND TRK, ADVS SPILLAGE ALL OVER FWY GOING INTO DRAINS TO THE HARBOR

3:41AM – CORONER ALREADY ENRT SB 710

3:39AM – HAVE OFCR ADV MEDIA THEY ARE AT THEIR OWN RISK

3:33AM – VEH GOING NB IN SB FRM FIRESTONE COMPACT CAR W/HAZARDS ON

3:24AM – RUNNING OUT OF FLARES – 15-72 ENRT W/ BOXES OF FLARES

3:20AM – FULL CLOSURE SB 710 AT 5 AND NB 710 AT 105 UNK DUR DUE TO FATAL ACCIDENT

2:42AM – FOAM TK COMING THROUGH CLOSURE

2:28AM – UNDETERMINED IF ANY INJURIES AT THIS TIME

2:20AM – BELL PD TO SEE IF THEY CAN CHECK FOR DRIVER ALSO

2:16AM – ALL LNS BLKD

2:14AM – TANKER INTO TREE FULLY LOADED JUST EXPLODED WHOLE RS ON FIRE

2:11AM – VEH NOW ON FIRE — 1039 LA CO FD

2:11AM – ROLL FD, FIRE ON RS HAVE FD

2:10AM – SEMI EXPLODED AT IMPACT , RS ALSO ON FIRE , UNK OTHER VEH INVLF

2:05AM – VEH FACING W/WAY BLKED OUT IN SLOW LN

2:05AM – BLKING #4 LN–1 VEH SIDEWAYS IN LN

Now that I’ve unsubscribed from the dozens of job sites I was involved with, my e-mail traffic has slowed to a trickle. The only people I ever hear from anymore are Nigerian princess wanting to invest “the sum of $8.5 million US dollars on properties in your country.” If I can help, I should write the prince back at his secure excite.com e-mail address.

Yeah

It’s a bit depressing when you realize that the ego-boosting Inbox (27) I would see each morning was far and away created by automated bots with little to no loyalty to me, nor with any interest in continuing a fulfilling relationship now that the job search is over. Why, Monster.com, have you forsaken me? Didn’t we have good times? Weren’t we always there for one another? I haven’t changed, I’m still the same guy you used to write to almost every day. Why have you let money come between us?!

sigh Some things just weren’t meant to be.

Luckily, Orbitz and I still have a pretty good thing going…

I have yet to decide if I “love” my new job or not; but, one thing I am sure of: I do love air-conditioning. 91 degrees and hazy outside. 75 and mostly clear inside.

UPDATE [14:55] that may have been the most inane post I’ve ever made. “Hi, I’m a jackass. Did you know that I like air-conditioning?! Wow, I’m interesting!” The Management would like to extend it’s deepest apologies, and greatest gratitude at your suffering its existence. Thank you for your support.

Sent via ADG:

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

That is amazing… and makes me much more forgiving of slinelpg errors.

The Masses Have Spoken

I’ve been nearly inundated with e-mails, lately, saying things like, “Dave, you’re so cool. Congratulations on your job. I want to get you something, but what?” and, “Dave, I know your birthday is next week, and I want to show you how much I care through mass consumer spending. What do you want?”

Well, to make it easier on all of you, check out my wish list