Dave’s Personality Profile Questionnaire
Section IIA: Personal Hygiene

When in the shower, do you:
__ wash your hair
__ wash your body
__ shave your face/legs
__ shave, err, other things
__ brush your teeth
__ use the shower massager in inappropriate ways
__ pee

This one time, at band camp… actually this one time, in the freshman dorms, someone had graciously taken a big, fat, steaming crap in the shared showers for everyone on the floor to enjoy. We all outwardly agreed what a capital prank it had been, while inwardly thinking, ‘Ohmygodtheresabigfatsteamingcrapintheshower! This is college?! Help!’ It was particularly disgusting, as the janitors were a bit slow, and we had get clean. Granted it was at the other end of the showers, behind a curtain, but we could still hear it talking:

“I’m over heeeeeeere. I’m big! I’m fat! I’m steaming!”

Yeah. So that made me think of things people may or may not do in the shower, which led to the above. I’ve added it to the questionnaire I make all casual acquaintances fill out before I consider them friends…