My horoscope from the Onion:
The Publishers Clearinghouse Prize Patrol will cruelly prank you this week by presenting you with an enormous novelty check for 63 cents.
This, like many things, reminds me of my days at the accursed Lockheed. About a month after I happily quit, I received a familiar envelope from the payroll department in the mail. It was apparently my last paycheck, and for me, cheerfully represented the closing chapter of a too-long book. I still have that check, un-cashed, framed, and hanging on a wall next to my front door. You have to be looking for it to find it, as I placed it only about a foot off the floor. If you do manage to spot it, though, and kneel down to take a closer look, you’ll gaze reverently upon a check made payable to David A. Kleeman in the amount of:
I’m going to keep that forever.