Here’s an excerpt from an IM conversation with a friend of mine. Excuse the spelling, the names have been changed to protect the innocent, and my friend’s Asian lest you are offended by anything:

Me says:
I think a chair is starting to grow out of my ass
He says:
that’s what i need
Me says:
it’s pretty damn comfy, and conveniently made of ass material
He says:
100% genuine ASS?
Me says:
nothing but the best
He says:
killer, i can only find the 50% ASS 30% polyester 20% nylon kind
Me says:
those are the knock-offs
He says:
cheap knock–offs
Me says:
you’ve been shopping in China Town haven’t you?
He says:
yeah …. they have ASS?
Me says:
roflmao…why do you keep capitalizing ASS?!
He says:
hahahahha…. like it’s a patented product
Me says:
lol
He says:
hahahah i’m dying here
Me says:
ASS, now in 5 fun colors!
He says:
and a variety of textures
Me says:
Dave-ASS, when you demand the best
He says:
it’s so soft and i like the ridges
Me says:
well, yeah, the ridges are the key
He says:
so why china town?
Me says:
that’s where all the ASS knock-offs are sold
He says:
oh yeah…. they come up to the gwai los and try to sell it
Me says:
Hey Joe! You like-a the ASS? Good ASS! Real cheap!
He says:
yoo wanta da ASS?! five dolla,
He says:
very very cheapb – hahahahaa
Me says:
oh man, I’m dying…