It used to be, that whenever a telemarketer called I’d be frozen by politeness and dizzied by their rapid-fire spiel. I’d stand there with the phone in my hand, bent over the cradle as if I was about to hang up, but powerless to do anything about it. Eventually, I would stammer out a, “I don’t think I’d be interested” and then stand there for a few minutes more to hear about how I actually was. At some point, I would muster up the willpower to disengage, hang up the phone, and then drop it like it was electrified, jumping around the room as if trying to dislodge the uncomfortable-ness.

Time and increasing annoyance, however, have tempered me into a finely-tuned telemarketing killing machine. The guy that called me today at 8:35 AM barely got out the, “I have an exciting offer from your local toll carrier” before he was met with a word of my own invention, “thankyouI’mnotinterestedby” *click* The moral of the story, for all you non-believers, is that maaaan, evolution is real!

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