These are the things that happen.

My parents are in town, which is good, but odd. More or less, I haven’t seen them much since going off to college, me going to Santa Barbara, and they going to Virginia so my Dad could continue being a spy.

I mean “flower salesman”.

After that, it was once or twice a year. Christmas, and then usually one other time. My Dad I see more often; he coming out to the West from time to time on… “business”; but Mom only the once or twice a year.

You have to understand our familly, though. This is normal. We are close without actually being the physical definition of the word. Which is why, I assume, that I am always so (initially) melancholy when they come to visit. What do you say? What do you do? It’s always a trip for me to talk to the friends of mine that hang out with their parent(s). Really? Because you both like video games?

I used to think I was normal, and the rest of the world was crazy. I realize, as I make more and more laps, that I’m the one who’s fucked up. But who cares? If the world was truly homogenous, how boring would it be? (very. it would be very boring).

But they’re here, and that’s cool.

One of my best friends had a baby last week. Or, more correctly, two of my best friends had a baby last week being as they’re married to each other. I take a certain amount of pride in that as I was one of the two people that set them up… they both being friends of mine at the time. This is a credited hook-up, too, it being ezplained at their wedding, not just a grandiose exaggeration that I like to take credit for, though the later part is true.

And speaking of trips, this is a big one. They are the first in the Core Group to have a kid for one, and in a lot of ways it’s going to change things for all of us.

Why wasn’t I consulted first?

I’ve never been an “uncle” before, and I had never held a baby before last Tuesday. 31 years old and never held a baby. Never had the opportunity to, actually. It’s weird, as it turns out babies are like people, only really really small. Did you know that?

And this kid is pretty cute, too, which if you knew me is a completely odd thing to say. And I don’t mean the bullshit cute that you have to say. I don’t have to say it, my friends are knee deep in parenthood with nary a second to read tripe like this. I’ve told parents that their babies were cute before while my inner monologue was screaming, “What the hell is that?!” This is not one of those cases. This kid really is cute. Blond hair, blue eyes, 10 each fingers and toes… is this what life is supposed to be about?

Suddenly, I’m outpaced in maturity, life plan, and whatever else catchphrase you have that means they’re “adults” while I’m still “undecided”.

Which, of course, isn’t true; but like I said, I’m freaking out. The funny thing is, for the last 9 months, I’ve been playing the Dude-I-Am-NOT-Cool-With-This role… and I just know I’m going to be the first to babysit.


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