Penelope Cruz/Matthew Naked-Bongos split up

And you know what that means: I still have absolutely zero chance of ever meeting or coming in contact with her.

I’ll have to add her to the List of Never Happen which includes Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Alba, Paris Hilton on good days, Pam Anderson 5-10 years ago, and that girl I met at Pasta Pomodoro.

Speaking of the above, I’ve simplified my life quite a bit by coming to an understanding with Miniature Golf Girl and putting an end to Rebecca Romijn. This leaves a few other non-nicknamed girls out there, but for all intents and purposes I’m continuing my streak of singledom prompted from my break-up with ADG. In the past, I typically went from one relationship to the next, some of them long (6 years) and some of them short (6 months); but none of them would be considered “just dating”.

Now, however, I’m completely the opposite and have shunned any kind of inkling of a relationship (as was expected of me with Minature Golf Girl and Rebecca Romijn… which is why I had to bolt). The more astute of you will probably surmise that this is predicated by whatever happened with ADG, and you’d be right.

When you get run over by a truck you try to stay off the freeway, you know what I mean?

Since the Break-Up of Ought-Five, I’ve dated [edited for decency] girls (yes, I made a list like a dork) with varying degress of success and interest. And this doesn’t include the handful of other, err, “experiences” that have been smattered in between. The fact that I’ve doubled my lifetime number before the break-up in the year since, is either admirable or alarming. Either way, it at least illustrates that I definitely got knocked for a loop… or got some sense knocked into me (depends on how you look at it).

Lately, I feel like I’ve been coming out of it a bit, and am maybe looking for something more permanent… though if you ask Rebecca Romijn or Miniature Golf Girl they might have an alternate viewpoint.