Seriously though, and this one’s for the fellas, do any of you use the “window” in your underwear? You know, you’re apparently supposed to saunter up to the urinal, unzip but not unbutton, work your way through the labyrinth, and then do your business. All with the (apparent) convenience of not undoing your belt. Ka-loo Ka-leah (you get a dollar if you tell me how to actually spell that)!

I used the escape hatch tonight, just for old time’s sake, and it was as awkward and non-intuitive as I had remembered. I’m not sure why it continues to survive today despite having long out-lived it’s usefulness. Like suspenders. And George Dubya. *ba-dum-dum-CHING!*