I’m a genius in the 20 minutes between starting to fall asleep, and actually asleep.

The problem is, I mean that literally: I am a genius during, and only during, the 20 minutes before real sleep. Any time outside of that window (say, this morning, for instance), my genius no longer applies, nor is it recognized. No matter how profound and potentially earth-shattering my ideas are at that time, they are undoubtedly worthless by the next day; though I try to repeat them to myself over and over anyway, in hopes that I might remember in the morning. My genius has a half-life of only roughly 3 hours. Perhaps it’s like a game of telephone where on one side the original message is about how to create a sustainable and safe fission reaction, but on the other side comes out as ‘purple rubber baby buggy refrigerators keep the hot side hot and the cool side cool.’

Nah, I’m probably just an idiot all around.

At any rate, my profound thought of last night was that my knees don’t match. Yeah.
Rather, they do match, and that’s the problem, as they should be asymmetrical for better stacking. You see, when you sleep on your side, curled up into a comfortable ball, you can’t lay one leg directly on top of the other, matching it’s contours. Why? Your knees! They knock together and are very uncomfortable. They’re not like your hands, which perfectly and effortlessly lace together in benign contentment; or even your feet that, despite that ankle bone, can lay on top of each other without too much discomfort. Your knees, though, they have to be offset, setting your legs apart, and thus twisting your spine. And that can’t be good.

And my conclusion to these profound thoughts of non-matching knees? “Hmmm, I should really do something about that.” Yeah, I’ll get right on that.

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