One: Hey right nut!
The Other: Hey left nut!
Together: Who’s the dick in the middle?!

I didn’t watch the MTV Music “Awards” on account of the fact that I don’t have MTV… because I don’t have cable… because I can’t afford it… because of the no job, you see.

I didn’t watch the MTV Music “Awards”, but I heard all about it, especially the above, and that’s just good television.

Prompted by Tony’s post, I looked back on my long and storied history of firsthand memories, and I’m almost completely fairly certain that I’ve never seen two girls honest to goodness make-out in real life (special emphasis on in real life). I would say that the fact that I have to even stop to think about it, pretty much confirms that I haven’t seen it.

I think I would remember something like that.

I’m very disappointed in myself that I haven’t experienced that, yet. The harder I think about it, the more I feel like there’s some vague memory from a club, or walking down the street on a New Year’s Eve, or rounding a corner at exactly the right time… but I don’t think it’s true. I think I just want it to be true. Casual, even lingering, kiss? Sure. But make-out kiss? No.

Which makes me wonder how many people, of any sex or level of fame, have I seen really go at it; and, I realize, it’s not that many. A lot in junior high and high school, of course; where either the high of conquest, love of PDA’s (and not the one’s made by Palm), or the overflowing hormone-fueled lust meant people were always making out somewhere, usually during lunch, and almost always standing right in the middle of the field, or lunch-line, or cafeteria.

Adult-For-Reals making out, though? Not so much.

Apparently, when you grow up you get all “discreet” or some such nonsense. To hell with that, ladeez, let’s get nuts!

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