You know, the thing about moving is, is that when you’re packing you say to yourself, “Never again! I don’t need any of this crap, and I vow that I will once again be able to fit everything I own into the back of my truck… just like in college. I need to be mobile. I mean, what if there’s a slow-moving fire, and I need to get everything out?!”

But see, when you get There, after moving all of that crap you don’t need, and you start to go through your possessions in order to purge like you promised yourself you would, you start to sound more like, “This? I can’t throw this away! First of all, where am I going to get another Guns ‘N Roses, Use Your Illusion Tour t-shirt? Sure it’s too small, faded, and has battery acid holes in the logo, but I need it… for sentimental value.”

Pardon my absence, I’m buried under yearbooks and unredeemed soda prize-tops.

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