devoted

Where does devotion come from? Sometimes, it is truly altruistic…though even as I write this those words ring hollow. Do you ever do anything without getting something in return? Even when that something is the self-satisfaction of helping someone in need; or the deeper darker self-satisfaction of martyrdom in the face of impossible odds.

As of late, I’ve been devoted to my sweet sweet mistress, Gainful Employment. Even now, at 11PM, I’m sitting at my desk at hour 14 in counting. Hardly a drop in the bucket to the day after day that have looked just like this prior. I’m reflecting on the canceled vacations, late nights on the weekend clicking on the keys of a company-sponsored laptop, my fingers glued to my iPhone and responding to emails even as I’m driving home.

What am I getting out of it? War stories, weeks turning to months of unused vacation, people who deserve my attention growing bored while waiting for it.

It ain’t for the money, that’s for sure.

I sure hope I look back on this time with a smile and not a grimace. Gainful Employment, ye be a harsh mistress…

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