i know. it is only rock and roll. but i like it.

My band has been playing more often than not as of late. That’s not actually true, in retrospect…if we were playing more often than not, literally, that would be a hell of a lot of shows. Even so, with at least bi-weekly rehearsals and the few gigs we’ve been getting recently, we ARE playing a fair amount.

In fact, we have two shows this week, one of which was last night and the second of which is tomorrow.

It’s funny, I’ve not been playing music for people my whole life or anything, yet I don’t get at all nervous. I suppose if you count wind ensemble and marching band back in the day, I’ve done SOME live performing, but you can easily blend into the crowd in those situations; and, even in those instances where you can’t (marching band…where one errant trombone player out of step sticks out like an etc etc) you are at least surrounded by a built-in support group. What’s more, if you’re in marching band in high school there ain’t no one paying attention to you in the least.

Except your parents, who correctly assume that you walk on water. But I digress.

I don’t get nervous though I have noticed a few things:

– even though I’m the (not so good) singer I don’t talk to the crowd much between songs. I don’t have an issue with public speaking and have always felt comfortable doing so, I just don’t have much to SAY. “Sorry everyone” is the usual thing that comes to mind.

– I flub a lot of solos. Like I said, I don’t feel nervous, but I sometimes catch my hand shaking if I jump up the neck to bang out a solo. I think it’s adrenaline, though, as my voice doesn’t quaver and I feel at ease…it’s just my fingers don’t want to work.

– Time speeds up considerably. For instance, last night I remember going on stage, throwing a pick away at some point, and then saying thank you…all of which took about 20 seconds.

I sometimes wonder if I don’t get nervous because that’s just the way I am; or, if I don’t get nervous because I don’t think we’re very good so who gives a fuck? I suspect that it’s a little bit of both, really.

Either way: fun!

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