artisitic something something

I struggle with artistic expression. I seem to have a lot of it…or rather, I seem to act like I have a lot of it, but in a lot of ways I don’t think I do at all. I pride myself on being a jack of all trades. I can draw decently, paint ok, write fairly well, have sporadic moments of inspired music creation, and take a pretty good photo…but am I GREAT at any of them? I tend to think not.

Which is fine. I consequently have a lot of hobbies.

I think to have true greatness (I’ve recently [as in just now] come to theorize) you must have focus. I either lack said focus or just don’t have enough interest in any one medium to devote all of my time to it. And I think that’s what it takes.

Also, having a day job is inconvenient to artistic growth.

I can see the evidence of this is my photos. Over the years, I’ve had flashes of minor brilliance, and they keep getting better over time. All this means to me, though, is that I need practice. In the same way a basketball players free throws get better with repetition, so do, perhaps, the creation of works by an artist.

This, to me, seems a bit tragic in a way. I’d rather the reality be that, struck by a divine light, I’d find myself furiously painting through the night as if possessed, the result of which is a masterwork. A switch is flipped and suddenly everything that comes out of my fingers brings tears of joy to anyone lucky enough to behold. I suppose this does happen, but not often.

It’s frustrating thinking of the possibility that the only thing keeping me (or anyone) from being truly great is the time to devote to the doing. So close, yet so far away.

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