I’m not even really sure what I’m saying. Sometimes in Life you meet people. You go out with them or you don’t. You have a connection or you don’t. Sometimes they are engaged, or have a boyfriend, or are just passing through your life. Other times they don’t.
It comes in waves with me. Long periods of time spent with one of those people followed by loss and long periods of downward spirals with loose moral character and questionable behaviour (but a hell of a lot of fun! [can you tell which period I’m in now?])…until the time when I meet one of those people that makes me want to be the best version of myself again.
Still haven’t found the one to motivate me out of my spiral, yet. Even better, the one to pull me out of my spiral for the last time. I thought I might have, but she was engaged, or had a boyfriend, or was just passing through my life. Which, somehow, is sadder than if she had never existed. Perhaps it’s the loss of possibility?