Why is it that everyone on Cops doesn’t have a shirt on? The cops themselves, sure, they have the whole uniform on; but, the (as the kids say:) perps, the witnesses, the passerby… all topless! And not sexy topless, either; beer-gut, farmer-tan, hairy-back topless. Does anyone else find this odd?
I’m just saying…
I went running with ADG yesterday… running! I mean, what the hell is up with that?! Mountain biking, hiking, basketball, volleyball, watching the Simpsons whilst eating pizza sure, but, running? I don’t know what the world is coming to.
OK, perhaps it wasn’t that bad, but, a runner I am not. Sprinter maybe (see “basketball” above), but runner no. And what was my reason for opening this pandora’s box?
Weight loss?
No, I’ve been unemployed and poor, I don’t have enough money to be overweight.
Cardiovascular health?
Do I look like that girl in your aerobics class? (don’t answer that) umm, no
To spend more quality time with ADG?
Is sweating and wheezing really quality time? (get your mind out of the gutter… there’s only room enough for me). OK, this was actually partially the reason; I liked the idea of sharing an interest together. However the main reason was entirely scenario based:
[Editor’s note: conversation between Dave and ADG]
DAK: … but what if we’re walking down the street and someone grabs your purse… or YOU?! I’ll need to be able to chase their black van over city blocks, down alleyways, and maybe even on to the freeway.
ADG: I’m sure you’ll manage
DAK: Yeah sure, for like 20 yards; but if I don’t catch them by then I’m done for! No, I think I need to be able to run… just in case
[Editor’s note: the following is completely what Dave dreamed he heard]
ADG: My hero!
I wonder if this is how Batman got his start?
So the interview went well, I think; and, I in fact have a second interview at another company tomorrow. Could this be the end of our unemployed hero?
Which brings me to a second point. I always told myself that I would go crazy being a retiree and having nothing to do, yet, I’ve subsisted for over a year without anything to do and been just fine. Discuss.
OK, so I haven’t been fine at all, the point is moot. Next topic of discussion:
Iraq had a weapons program. Intelligence throughout the decade showed they had a weapons program. I am absolutely convinced with time we'll find out they did have a weapons program.
Now, I may be reading way too much in to this; or, more correctly, I am definitely reading way too much in to this (hey, I’m a bleeding-heart liberal, but a fair one), but, this sounds to me like:
I’m pretty sure Iraq had some stuff. I thought someone told me they had some stuff. I seriously think we’ll eventually find some stuff… maybe.
Discuss.
I feel as though I need more hits.
Which is strange considering that I started this blog not even “for myself”, which is the pat answer, but for an even lesser reason known as “the hell of it”. I had had two websites before this one which absolutely none of you saw, nor will be able to find, should you be interested. They were entirely self-serving, of course (as if a blog somehow isn’t), and terribly interesting to perhaps 3 people; two of which I am sure were me, and a third which was most likely me as well. As some of you may or may not know, having a site without something like a blog is very difficult to keep fresh and exciting. If it consists of my so-called “portfolio” of stunning artistic masterpieces, for instance, I am then required to churn out said masterpieces in a faster than 6-12 month turnaround as usual, ya know?
At any rate, it was then that I was introduced to blogging, and the rest is sad Stuff and Stuff history. First, there was the free geocities web space; and then, the paid-for-and-incredibly-clever-to-me-alone, floorpie.net. I like to think that I might have been at least somewhat popular at one time, as floorpie.com was mysteriously taken at the same time I announced my intention to purchase it on my blog. [note to burgeoning blog-stars: keep your clever ideas to yourself]
My popularity, however, has waxed and waned since then, leaving me with either 60 or 150 unique visitors (not 60/150 hits, 60/150 different people, regardless of visits) each day, depending on which of my tracking tallys I decide to believe. I tend to defer to the first one. Of course, to some of you, 60 people is a red letter day; but we’re talking about me here, in all of my Narcissus-like glory, so…
Somehow, I feel like I should get more. I don’t necessarily deserve to, of course. Lately (where by “lately”, I mean “the last 8 or so months”), I haven’t been particularly witty or compelling; owing, perhaps, to my job situation… but who can say? Should you disagree, please do delve in the archives and find that particularly hilarious post that just sprung to mind and e-mail it to me. I shan’t be waiting with baited breath, but you never know.
But I digress. Somehow I feel like I should get more. But why? This is just for me, isn’t it? At which point I realize: no. I mean, yes… or at least: sometimes. Looking back, I realize that I don’t actually write a huge amount about myself, sticking instead to general social commentary or observational humor. Is that really for me? Indirectly I suppose it is, as perhaps I do it to earn the praise of the reading masses (is 60 really “masses”?). Which leads us back to this problem of not enough hits.
So what’s the point? There is no point, of course, only drivel. Inspire me with your link-love!
Interview today. Luck to be wished by you. Log log log, it’s better than bad… it’s good!
ADG and I will be recharging somewhere in Yosemite for the weekend… just one of the many advantages of living in California (or, I suppose, Nevada in the case of this particular advantage).
Oh how the mighty have fallen
Is there anyone having a worse week than Sammy Sosa?
Granted, I’m unemployed and depressed about it, and below me are the unemployed with no one to love them, and below them are the homeless, and below them the homeless and hungry, and below them the tortured and imprisoned, and on and on and on and every single one of them is having just a really terrible week.
But at least they’re not embarrassed.
Let’s be honest, if I’m unemployed, no one really cares except my friends and family. If Bill is homeless, no one really cares except his estranged daughter. If Nigeria is starving, no one really cares except Sally Struthers.
But when Sammy Sosa cheats at America’s Pastime™, everyone cares.
Me, I don’t even like baseball. I never watch games on TV, I don’t have a team, and I don’t know who won the world series last year. I go to maybe one or two games a year, in a group, and looking for hot dogs more than pop-flys. But still, I know who Sammy Sosa is. Sammy Sosa is a hero to the young and old. Sammy Sosa represented everything that was good and pure and free about America. Sammy Sosa was a symbol. Sammy Sosa was Captain America.
Sammy Sosa is a cheater.
And you know, Sammy Sosa isn’t a bad guy (I assume). He has real feelings, real hopes, real compassion, and he may really have picked up his cheatin’ bat by mistake. Unfortunately, though, a man in his position simply can’t make mistakes like that… and I’m sure it haunts him, because he’s let down a nation. And that’s a lot to bear.
So, is anyone having a worse week than Sammy Sosa? I don’t think so. Well… maybe Martha Stewart.
I have an interview today that isn’t so much an interview, really, as it is a let’s-get-to-know-you-even-though-we-don’t-have-any-open-positions. But hey, at least I get to get out of the house.
As I’m sure it is with many of you, I get e-mail updates of flight deals from various airlines. Today’s American Airlines flyer (pardon the pun) detailed a Los Angeles to Toronto flight for a mere $268. You know what that means? SARS = bargains!
