Curiouser and Curiouser

I’ve kept mostly non-political here on Floorpie Dot Net, but for those of you who didn’t know: I’m pretty much a bleeding heart liberal.

In fact, I’m such a bleeding-heart liberal that I even show up socialist on the McCarthy Radar. Yes, that’s right, I’m a dirty commie. Before you all gasp, you must realize that our common ideas of socialism and communism are largely based on the former Soviet Union, which, as anyone will tell you, was an extraordinarily flawed example of communism. Same goes for China. The basic idea of communism, however, is actually pretty intriguing, and something I could get behind. Unfortunately, like Utopian societies, it is fairly impossible to pull off effectively (as in the USSR), and in reality I’m probably far too greedy to step in line. Cool idea in theory, though.

This is not the point.

The point is that I feel this whole war with Iraq thing is one of the worst US acts to have happened in my lifetime, and possibly in our history. Killing off the Native Americans: bad. Slavery: bad. Oppression of women: bad. Gulf War, Part Deux: very bad.

Perhaps it is the patriotic-tinted history books of my education, but I at least feel we were justified in entering the Big One, the One After the Big One, the MASH one, and The Platoon One. Those seemed to be for good causes. The Gulf war, although about oil, was at least marginally justified as one country was invading another. But this most recent conflict? I can’t find the justification.

Putting aside the conspiracy theory that this is in someway designed to distract us from the fact that we haven’t heard anything about, oh I don’ t know… Osama bin Laden, in literally MONTHS, and going along with the whole impending-doom-weapons-of-mass-destruction jive we’re hearing, where’s the proof? Here are my points:

.: North Korea, who we’ve been at real war with, who’s told us they’re going to develop nuclear weapons, who’s threatened us… gets diplomacy
.: North Korea has missiles, and many American forces within it’s reach, to bomb. US response? Diplomacy
.: Iraq, however, has never, and still continues to not, have the capability to launch a weapon of any real magnitude much farther than it’s borders. Frankly, it takes a hell of a lot to launch something half way around the world, and baby, we’re simply out of reach. US response? WAR!
.: the UN inspectors have found nothing. Sure, a few empty canisters, but that is about a thousand orders of magnitude away from a weapon of “mass destruction”. Besides, no one said they couldn’t have a few missiles to defend themselves with. US response: WAR!
.: Germany, France, and even Great Britain start to back out of US support due to lack of evidence. US response? WAR!

I’m not saying that with all this, we should at least shout WAR! at Korea, too. I’m just saying it seems awfully strange that the one that seems to be more of a threat than the other gets the diplomacy. I wonder why? Because there’s no oil in Korea perhaps?

This article says two things: (1) UN inspectors give Iraq a “B” on their inspections. They’ve found nothing, they’ve been largely cooperative, and everything is hunky-dorey. (2) US sources say that Iraq plans to destroy their own oil fields if we attack them, and the US will protect them at all costs.

Nothing about an “axis of evil”, “evil doers”, “terrorists”, or anything… just that we’ll protect the precious precious oil. Interesting.

A while ago, I gave the president the benefit of the doubt. I assumed that he really had some knowledge that there were weapons of mass destruction, but he didn’t want to admit it, perhaps because of the way we got it. Maybe we payed-off Osama to tell us and let him go, maybe Bush slept with one of Saddam’s wives, maybe he got it out of a fortune cookie… whatever the case, I thought the only way he could be such a sword rattler was because he really had something. Well, with your allies leaving you, your inspectors disagreeing with you, and the whole world hating you, don’t you think now is the time to swallow your pride and fess up?

Or maybe he’s just a war-monger that loves his daddy and wants to kill the bad man. Time will tell.

PS if you made it this far, you get a cookie

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Tasteless Response to E-mail Thursday

From: Rob
To: Floorpie
Subject: Holy Moses!

Nell Carter DIED!!!

From: Floorpie
To: Rob
Subject: RE: Holy Moses!

Gimme a break, Nell Carter?!
This tasteless joke brought to you by a morning Pepsi and unemployed bitterness...

But seriously folks, there’s nothing funny about someone passing away, and I watched Gimme a Break more than I’m comfortable enough to admit. She will be missed most likely.

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SJSU student dies in frat brawl

Just one more reason why I think frats/sororities are asinine. Here, someone has died (stabbed in the heart) over which Greek-named group of like-minded lemmings is better at doing keg-stands under the guise of elitist arrogance and fake community service.

Yeah, not a big fan of frats.

It’s nothing personal, really, I have some very good friends that are/were well-ingrained in the like-minded thinking of the typical fraternity. My main point of contention? That spending a week drinking more than the other guy somehow makes you an instant “brother”, not only with the local chapter, but with “brothers” nation-wide, to the point of exclusion of other non-fraternal people. People get jobs because they happen to pay the same dues. People are honored and favored because they know the exact same three letters of the greek alphabet. Well, I was a brother once, and it angers me to no end that beer bongs, date rapes, and now stabbings earn you a similar title to that which I want back more than I’m comfortable in admitting.

Yes, I realize you don’t know what I’m referring to.

I assume the hate mail from my former greek-fans will be coming in now. Please mail to: Anti-Dave?

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I bet we’ve been together, for a million years.
And I’ll bet we’ll be together for a million more.Oh it’s like I started breathing, on the night we kissed.
And I can’t remember what I ever did before.

What would we do baby, without us?
What would we do baby, without us?

And there ain’t no nothing we can’t love each other through.
What would we do baby, without us?
sha-lala-laaa…

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I met this girl on Monday.
Took her for a drink on Tuesday.
We made love by Wednesday
…and on Thursday and Friday and Saturday.
We chilled on Sunday.

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I am disgruntled

Ah technology, how I love thee! So many things are easy an convenient these days: maps at the touch of a button, weather for the same, food purchased and delivered to your home, goods and services of every kind, and most impressively… online bill payment. Glorious, glorious online bill payment.

Almost every credit card company has this option, as well as cell phone bills, utilities, and the like. And now, the much derided California DMV has enabled us humble citizens to pay our registration online! Awesome! Not only do I not have to stand in never-ending lines at the actual DMV, nor write a check to them in the comfort of my own home, but I don’t even have to interact with the most hated of all state institutions for more than 5 minutes max. What could be more perfect?

And all this electronic happiness comes at the mere expense of a $4 convenience fee!

Excuse me, wha?

A four dollar convenience fee for the state to sit there and let technology reap profits without the added trouble of buildings, people, paper records, or non-instant transactions?!

A four dollar convenience fee because, I don’t know, I’m so fucking grateful that They’ve found a faster and easier way to take my money from me that I just can’t wait to throw more at them?

Extraneous ATM charges, though evil at best, are at least somewhat understandable. The banks incur an expense when they have to interact with other banks and exchange our records. Granted, the actual cost to them is most likely $.0001 of the $1.50 they charge you, but at least there’s something that they can hide behind. But this? This is just simple highway robbery (pardon the pun).

Well fuck you very much, I’ll choose snail-mail everytime.

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I just narrowly averted running over an empty Budweiser can in the middle of the road. Where did it come from? How did it get there? I find this amusing and ironic.

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For those of you using Outlook as your e-mail client, you, like me, have probably wished you could get it out of your taskbar and minimze it to the system tray. After all, you leave it open all day, and all it does it take up unnecessary space, right? Well, for Windows XP users (with Outlook for XP), a registry hack was published that is the answer to your prayers. Everyone else? Out of luck, it doesn’t work.

However (comma) for those of us unfortunate enough to be running Win ME (never never never again) or any of the other more recent versions of Big Brother software, I came upon a simple program that does the same thing. It’s awesome and it works flawlessly. I suggest you give it a try. They (r2 Studios) also have a version for Outlook Express; not to mention a host of other interesting little applications to make your life easier.

Oh, and they’re all free

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In case you were thinking to yourself, “Self? (as I’m sure you address you when talking to [wait for it] you) How much masculinity do you think Dave has left? Well, because I care about you, The Masses, I’ll tell you:

Really very little.

That is to say: little

Not only did ADG take me to yoga for the first time last night, but I enjoyed it.

A lot.

I’m going to go again if given the opportunity.

I’m all about yoga.

And I like wearing a leotard.

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I have a problem with leaving my apartment. Not as many of you think I do, assuming I’m some sort of hermit what with being unemployed (OK, true, but that’s not what I’m referring to). I leave my apartment, lock my door, walk down 1-2 flights of stairs and then remember I forgot my cell phone. I go back up to get it, repeat the earlier process, and then remember that I forgot to grab the garbage like I was going to. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. And the recycling. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. My camera and that overdue DVD.

And again and again and again.

The odd thing is that I’m not at all a forgetful person in any part of the world save for the 30 square feet in front of my apartment. Or perhaps I should think of it as having a million great ideas in those 30 square feet, and I should be thankful and in awe of such hallowed ground. Either way, I think I owe most of my recent weight loss to going up and down the stairs four times as much as necessary.

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