The Prez. is pissed:
Freedom itself was attacked this morning by a faceless coward. Make no mistake, the US will hunt down and punish those responsible for these cowardly acts… The resolve of our great Nation is being tested; but, make no mistake, we will show the world that we will pass this test…
Today was one day that my dad was not working in the Pentagon. Lucky me, but many were not as so. Chicken Little said it first, but it bears repeating, “The sky is falling.”
There’s no such thing as a free lunch. -Aristotle
Being a conscientious motorist, I endeavored to adjust my tire pressure this weekend. I drove over to my local Chevron, topped off my tank, and then coasted over to the air & water pumps. Emblazoned onthe air compressor were the words:
AIR 50¢ QUARTERS ONLY
Whatthefuck?
50 cents for air?! When did this start happenning? How do you market what I previously thought was an inalienable right (yes, I’m aware that we pay for water, natural gas, electricity, etc…but tire air?!) Determined to not be taken by The Man, I drove over to Union 76: 50¢. Damnit!
This, now, was a personal quest, I’d already wasted an hour on this little chore, and I’d be damned if I was going to pay two bits for a few psi of air to throw in my beater-truck. I decided to try the last bastion of cheap gas (in California anyway), and consequently an undoubtedly good place to find free air: Arco-AM/PM. Pulled around to the back, hopped out fo the truck, looked at the compressor, and saw:
AIR 25¢ QUARTERS ONLY
Sweet victory, my friends, was mine.
OK, so maybe it wasn’t as complete a destruction as General Santa Anna’s overrunning of the Alamo, but 50% of a victory is still pretty good. And the fact that the time ran out before I was done, resulting in me putting another quarter in the machine, really has no bearing on this story whatsoever.
For reasons of little importance, I found myself in Carmel-by-the-sea this weekend. For those of you who don’t know, Carmel is an extremely wealthy beach community in northern California; home to it’s former Governor, Clint Eastwood, and, a city whose main drag begins with Sak�s Fifth Avenue.
I was a stranger in a strange land.
To illustrate just how milquetoast of a place affluent Carmel is, let me quote from the police blotter printed in the local paper, The Carmel Pine Cone:
– Report of a green pickup truck in the driveway of a Scenic residence and two or three subjects walking around the driveway and front of the residence. The area was checked and the subjects were gone on arrival.
– Observed a vehicle pull to the side of the roadway at Junipero and Ocean. Rear seat passenger became ill; however, he did not need medical assistance. Driver was warned.
– River Place resident reported one of her former tenants was playing golf near the house he used to rent from her.
– Unknown juveniles called an elderly man several names while riding their bicycles.
It�s a thin blue line my friends, a thin blue line indeed�
Eyes large in dim light
Pac-Man reflected in soul
Atari, my love
Good start to the day so far. Breakfast of Champions consisting of a maple bar and a Pepsi. mmmmmm fattening…
Houston, we have a problem…a sexy problem. – Homer Simpson
Some Items of Little Interest to You, but Somewhat to Me in Relation to My Trip to Hawai’i:
– I learned how to spell Hawai’i correctly
– On the plane-ride there, a woman was cutting her fingernails (gross!)
– …into her purse (polite, granted, but still!)
– The only people who get lei’ed when they step off the plane are the Brady Bunch. C’mon, you remember
– According to dictionary.com, sandblast is defined as: a blast of wind laden with sand…it sure is Billy, it suuuure is.
– Smoking in bars/clubs is allowed in Hawai’i (shocked dismay from others of you in Cali, bemused apathy from those who are not). This makes Dave very smelly after dancing till 4
– Hawai’ian shirts are cool
– Hawai’i is a lot like Tijuana. It’s hot, there are lots of bars, prostitutes roam the streets, everyone’s relaxed, and there are miles and miles of junk for sale. If there were street urchins selling Chiclets, I’d never be able to tell the difference.
– Did I mention the hot chicks, yet?
So, I failed to mention it earlier, but I’m going to Hawaii.
“Didn’t you just come back from vacation?” you say. Yes… yes I did.
Don’t judge me too harshly, though, as this is only the second or third time I’ve ever had a “real” vacation. Plus, my friend’s family lives there, and he invited me, see, and, uh, I’ve never been, so… plus, it’s only for a week, and uh… hmmmm.
I’m going to Hawaii.
I expect to be lei-ed by Wednesday afternoon…
