You know when you’re dirty, and I mean really just DIRTY. It’s not when you’ve been out digging in the mud all day (you know, like you do), and it’s not when you get back from that first night at your girlfriend’s cardio class where you look like an extra from Flashdance (what?), it’s when It’s baked into you. You may not smell bad at all, or even look soiled in any way, but It’s in there, in your pores, and you only know it when you take a shower. That warm water hits you and starts to loosen things up. Then, pretty soon your eyes are stinging. “Why the fuck are my eyes stinging?!” you inwardly shout. Because you’re DIRTY, that’s why, and now it’s in your eyes!

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