Dear Stuff and Stuff:
I was just wondering, what is your favorite color and why?
Yours forever and ever and ever,
PS What are you getting me for Christmas?
Stuff and Stuff answers:
To Whom it May Concern:
What motivated me initially about Hooked on Phonics was my son’s inability to read. Imagine my surprise then, when upon receiving my order, I opened the box to find approximately two ladles-full worth of rendered hog fat. I fed approximately one third of your product to my son, but I unfortunately saw no marked increase in his reading capabilities; and he, sadly, remains astoundingly illiterate.
Please find enclosed the unused portion of your product. Further, I would appreciate a full and prompt refund, as your product did not meet my literacy needs.
Stuff and Stuff