Do you want fries with that?

Subway never ceases to amaze me. There’s something about their Sandwich Technicians turned Zombies that turns their ears off whenever you order anything. To whit:

Dave: Hi, can I get a foot-long veggie, on white, with everything, please?

Food Dood: OK. What kind of bread?

Dave: Uhh, white…

Food Dood: mayonnaise-mustard?

Dave: Yes…everything.

Food Dood: Everything on that?

Dave: Yes…

Food Dood: hot peppers?

Dave: Yes…

Food Dood: salt-n-pepper?

Dave: Yes…

Food Dood: oil and vinegar?

Dave: NO! Dear god NO! Wait…did you say “oil and vinegar”? Oh, then yes.

Other things I don’t understand:

– why cigarette smokers get immunity from littering laws

– why birds suddenly appear, every time you are near