I saw The Mummy for the first time last night…ugh. So that’s why they invented videos. Granted, I wasn’t expecting a classic, but word on the street led me to believe that I would at least be overwhelmed by the special effects… Hmmmm, they were aight, but The Mummy ain’t The Matrix, yo.

Also, what the Hell happened to Brendan Frasier?! I haven’t seen a movie of his since the very good School Ties and With Honors. (Well, I did see Airheads on TV, but that wasn’t a real movie, right? …right? [oh, Steve Buscemi why have you forsaken me?]). Poor Brendan running around like an idiot, spewing cheezy lines, and largely unaffected by the 3,000 year old living-dead guy who wants to kill him.

Brendan: “Dude! What the Hell is that?!”

Hot Chick: British affectation “Well, O’Connell that is the unholy mummy of Imhotep, High Priest of Os…”

Brendan: “Dude, he’s totally decayed and ruining my flow. I’m gonna chill back in town.” sexual tensions ensues…

music swells, sunset, credits roll, FIN…