It’s official, I would not last a month if I lived here. Not from culture shock. Not from the food. Not from not knowing the language.

No, it would be from the mother fucking HEAT! Followed closely by the ass killing HUMIDITY!

I was sick of staying in the hotel watching HBO (one of 2 English-speaking channels) and wanted to get outside for a while. Truth be known, it was Miss Congeniality that drove me outside. It may have been MC 2, but one thing I do know for sure is that it snet me running, running into the wilds of China. I lasted about 30 minutes before I just couldn’t take it anymore. I’m not sure if the locals were staring at me because I’m a westerner, or if it was because my blase expression of fitting in was drenched in sweat. I don’t think I’ve ever sweat from my ears before. How the hell do the locals survive out here? No one else seemed to be sweating profusely like I was, shirt sticking to my chest and back and drops of water raining all around me like I was a fat man at a Georgia BBQ.

What does that mean? Am I horribly out of shape, or is humidity something that your body really does adapt to after a while? I hope it’s the latter, because if it’s the former I’m not long for this world judging by my liquid output.

I wanted to explore a little more, walk out to a temple I can see from my 19th floor room, but there was just no conceivable way I would make it and still be, you know, alive.

And I used to live in Texas.

I honestly am still open to the possibility that there may be something seriously wrong with my health, because I have never been so instantly and completely uncomfortable in my own skin.