I woke up this morning at 5:12AM to the sound of fucking. Sorry if that’s crass, but I know what “making love” sounds like, I’ve even done it once or twice, and this wasn’t it. This was fucking.

I was disappointed to find out that it wasn’t me, but was instead my neighbor… which is interesting as he and his live-in girlfriend broke up a month or so ago and she subsequently left forever (sounds familiar). I’m assuming this is why it was the fucking and not the making love.

At first I thought, “Good for you, go cat go!” as I listened to the floorboards squeak and groan, squeak and groan, squeak and groan… but then I figured out it was 5:12AM and was just confused.

Who has sex at 5:12AM?

Ony two types of people:
1. People that have been fucking all night long, and their third time happens to fall in or around 5:12AM, or
2. Weird people.

Seeing as I hadn’t heard anything all night long (or, by the way, ever before… this might be part of the reason my neighbor and his girfriend broke up), I concluded that he must have been working and working and working on this girl all night long until finally, somewhere around 4:47AM, she relented. Weird people.

I’m sure I’m just jeaous.