Jay LenoThis is exactly why Jay Leno is a punk bitch

Jay Leno Apologizes to Offended Viewer

LOS ANGELES – Jay Leno knows that comedy means sometimes having to say you’re sorry. After Leno’s “Tonight Show” aired a sketch that compared Vice President
Dick Cheney’s hunting accident to a 2003 videotaped shooting outside a Los Angeles courthouse, he received a letter of complaint from a viewer.

>Wendy Brogin, a friend of shooting victim Gerald Curry, wrote to Leno condemning the recent sketch as offensive and asking him to “do the right thing relative to this matter.”

Within days, Leno responded with a phone call that greatly impressed Brogin, the Daily News of Los Angeles reported Tuesday.

The journalist has it wrong, comedy never means having to say you’re sorry. At least not edgy, balls to the wall comedy that’s ground-breaking and revolutionary. Richard Pryor never said he was sorry, George Carlin never said he was sorry, even Eddie Murphy never said he was sorry though he started to look like he was when he started making movies like Dr. Doolittle.

I know I live in LA, and I am therefore obligated to bow to the Shrine of Leno, but I just don’t. I’ve never been much of a fan of Jay, and there’s a reason for it.

I can’t remember what it is, though.

Oh yes:

He’s not funny.

The main reason, besides the fact that he’s milquetoast, is his delivery:

“Why’d the chicken cross the road?”
[pause to laugh at punchline before telling it]
“To get to the other side!”
[laugh at your own joke some more. Double over from difficulty of breathing due to your own hilarity]
“Kevin! Did you hear that? The chicken wanted to get to the other side of the street! To get to the other side!”
[laugh. repeat punchline ad nauseum]

You think I’m joking, but watch Leno tonight. If he repeats a punchline (and he will), you owe me a dollar.

Howard SternThe other reason I don’t like Jay Leno (besides, again, because of how he’s not funny), is that he’s a fucking thief. It’s a well-known fact that all comedians steal material. It’s also a well-known fact that these comedians are pussies.

The truly funny comics are innovators. They come up with stuff and say things that no one ever would have thought of; or didn’t have the bravery or the timing to pull it off. Most of all, though, the really original comics don’t shank stuff from other people; especially when they are so hugely popular.

Jay Walking? Howard Stern
The Homeless game? Howard’s
His funny announcer who ambushes red-carpet celebrities? Stern!

It’s just sad.

And now he’s apologizing to individual people because his comedy insulted someone? I’d understand him apologizing for his comedy, but saying you’re sorry that someone got their feelings hurt?

There are two incontrovertible facts in this world:
1. There’s no crying in baseball, and
2. There’s no “I’m sorry” in stand-up.

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