I was sitting on the floor of my kitchen eating a bowl of cereal for…if “brunch” is between breakfast and lunch, what’s between lunch and dinner? “Lunner”?
I was sitting on the floor of my kitchen eating a bowl of cereal for lunner when I realized why I’ve been sick so much, lately: I’m stressed out.
Over the past 4 or 5 months, I’ve had some fairly stress-inducing occurrences roll through my life; not the least of which was my apartment fire, which explains why I was sitting on the floor in the kitchen… nowhere else to sit.
There has been the fire and the nomadic living situation since then, dealing with the insurance company in regards to said fire, the three car accidents and the money I lost there as well, a successful trip to China, an unsuccessful one, and the however many girls I’ve tried to find love with in the interim.
So far, I’ve dealt with all of them with what I like to think has been a preternatural amount of aplomb. I haven’t cried, yelled, been driven to depression, gained weight, lost weight, or done anything other than roll with all of it, crack the occasional joke at my own expense, and pretty much go on with life as if it all wasn’t a big deal. My friends have been, in short, either amazed or incredulous at my apparent resilience; and I have to admit that I have been, too. Shouldn’t I be feeling all of this more?
So it occurred to me today, sitting on a dirty floor in an apartment that wasn’t really mine, that maybe I am feeling it more than I thought I was, and that’s why I’ve been getting sick. Internally, I’m totally stressed out (I think). Outwardly I’m calm and collected. For the last 4 or 5 months, I’ve been absorbing all of the negativity around me, and not letting it get me down (a good thing). The problem is, I don’t think there’s been an outlet for it (a bad thing) and it’s starting to effect me physically.
I had a girlfriend once who, whenever we had been fighting for some stupid reason or the other, would get a cold sore seemingly from the stress of our conflict. This would only happen after a particularly bad bout of us fighting, and it was a pretty consistent sign as I don’t remember her getting one that didn’t coincide with something like that. Perhaps my getting sick, lately, is similar?
Make no mistake, though, I’m still happy with the way I’ve been able to adapt to all of the adverse stuff in my life, lately, and I’ll take a few colds over freaking out over spilt milk… but I still need to unload some of this stress.