Happy Thanksgiving my lovelies. Please feel free to commence with the fire-related cooking jokes at this time. “Roasting a turkey in your…living room, this year?” *ba-dum-dum-CHING!*

Let me ask you something, because certainly you would know: what, exactly, do insurance adjusters actually do? The reason I ask is because, near as I can tell, mine doesn’t do anything. A typical conversation goes something like this:

me So… where are we on my claim?

Insurance Adjuster Oh… you know… once we get an inventory… we can cut you a check

me Ah… so do I need to put together that inventory between the stuff the smoke restoration people took, and the list I’ve been creating independently?

IA …yes

me Um, OK. And so what’s the process, do I put prices for everything and then you double-check it?

IA …yes

me Ah… and do I need to take pictures or find records for everything I own, or if I say I had a fondue pot do you just take my word for it?

IA err…yes

me I assume [inner dialogue: [I “ASSUME” BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT TELLING ME ANYTHING!] that there’s some kind of limit to that though, right?

IA …yes

me And that limit is what then?

And our conversations go on and on and on like this. I suggest what, based on my own limited understanding of the insurance industry, I would think sounds like a reasonable procedure, and the insurance adjuster either confirms or denies it. There’s just no offering of information.

It took me three conversations to actually get her fax number, because I would foolishly wait expectantly on her to expand from what I thought was an opening statement, “When everything’s completed, you can fax the inventory to me…”. I thought that would be followed by, “…at 310-123-4567”, but instead she just trailed off and drifted away on a breeze.

It would be frustrating if it weren’t so entertaining.