It was made clear to me today that there are 19 shopping days left before Christmas. I have not verified this statistic, but it seems reasonably reasonable to me. This means, of course, that I am in a state of mild panic having ‘bought/made/stolen’ nothing for anyone, as of yet. This also means that my ‘credit card bill/hot glue gun/rap sheet’ will be ‘huge/worn out/long and impressive’ this month.
I pity myself this January when the AMEX bill comes. Perhaps I will soften the blow by checking my flight miles balance (which is tied to said AMEX) immediately before checking my bill. “My my,” I will say to myself because I speak like a proper English bloke in my head, “but look at the 2,500 miles I added last month. Smashing!” This may be enough to delay the heart seizure I would experience until I can earn it the right way through serial and unhealthy eating and drinking at the age of 45.

And I still, still get hits for Japan see-thru panties nearly a year after the fact. Impressive, I should think… though I am not clear on which bit is the impressive one: the staying power of, or the staying power of male (presumably) perversity.

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