I have this thing about bathrooms in that I seem to make a lot of social observations in them, and then make judgements on the behaviours of my fellow males. For instance, I’ve compiled an entire mental list of things that shouldn’t happen in a public bathroom but do. For instance:

.: guys spitting into the urinal before they do their business
.: in cases of three urinals, picking the middle one (thereby forcing the next guy to stand next to you). An alternate is if the person before you has chosen an edge urinal and you pick the middle one.
.: in case of more than three urinals with only one taken, choosing to stand next to someone
.: while at the urinals, striking up a conversation with anyone

And don’t even get me started on the stall transgressions.
Today while I was in the stall, working on the great american novel, someone from the building came in to use the urinal (not from my office, thankfully, which I know because he went back downstairs after finishing up). I’m already on guard when I’m in the stall and soemone else is at the urinal. I assume I’m afriad of them opening the door; but, as I would find that hilarious, I’m probably more fearful of them doing what this guy did.

>So it’s silent (mostly). I’ve stopped my furious writing and thoughtful ponderings. He goes up to the urinal (based on watching his feet) and says out loud “So why’d you hang up on me Jim?”

Panic. Fear. Whithering nausea. Obviously, this guy saw my feet, made an incorrect assumption, and is now going to try to talk to me for the next few minutes. I may have to respond! I may have to respond!

Urinal Guy laughs derisively, obviously amused that I won’t answer him and says “Okaaay. Where were you last night?”

Please kill me

“Oh, I thought you were in a club or something, it sounded really loud”

Wait, what? And then I hear the tiny mumbled reply of someone on the phone. He’s talking on the phone while pissing and outgassing. I am simultaneously relieved that he’s not talking to me (or presumably even knows I’m there), and disgusted that he’s talking on the phone. And, continuing his conversation, he leaves the bathroom after not washing his hands. shudder

Retro phones from the future: the pokia
Saddam's justice: a prostate infection
"Life is about, not where you start, but where you're going. That's family values!" - Reverend Al Sharpton

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