The phone rang at 4:30 this morning. It was Gray Davis. He was frantic, a little spacey, and in my opinion, would definitely be having a morning of throwing up and regret. But for now he was flying high and in a panic. I answered groggily:

He..hello? Who is this?


What? Who is this?! Do you know what time it is? Do I know what time it is?

Duuuuuuude…. get out the vote!

Oh for… Gray?! Is that you? For the last time leave me alone!

Dude, I really really really need your vote

No you don’t man, you’re screwed either wa…

Dude, so I’ve got your vote? Sweet, I have 17,458,234 more people to call before the polls open

You do not have my vote, Gray. Sorry bro, but I gave you two chances already, and three strikes, you’re out.


Thought you’d like that one. Seriously though, Gray, what did you expect, you’re a total clown.

Yeah, I know. I was just hoping, you know? Dude, they have towels in the Governor’s mansion with your name on them! How friggin’ cool is that?

Just take em’ with you, man. How many other people do you know named “Gray”?

You think I should? You think that would be cool?

Why not? You’ve screwed over the State fairly royally already, you might as well go out in style! Now buh-bye…


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