Yeah, so I’m the #4 Google-hit for cheap penis pinatas. Here’s hoping for number one!
The mind boggles.
For a while now, friends and family have been telling me that they are sure that I’ve been kicked around enough over the last year, that things are going to turn around for me, that things really couldn’t possibly get any worse.
SUPERIOR COURT OF CALIFORNIA BY ORDER OF THE COURT, your service is required 05/27/03 THRU 05/30/03 to serve as a prospective juror.
COUNTY OF SANTA CLARAJUROR SUMMONS
OK, in truth, this should be fairly easy to get out of as I won’t even be living within 300 miles of the courthouse come this weekend, but it was still a kick in the teeth when I opened my mail. Add to that the unemployment, the fact that I’m suddenly getting job leads in NoCal as I move to SoCal, that it looks as though it’s going to be pouring the day of my move (just as it did with the inaugural trip down), the other court summons for an unemployment insurance appeal that I don’t even want to mention, and the sensitive and red tumor-shaped lump on my head whatever else I can think of, and you have to start realizing that I must have been a real asshole in a previous life. You see kids, crime doesn’t pay after all…
My time here in the Silicon Valley is, mercifully, coming to an end this week. No longer will I have to deal with the unfriendliness of the population, the traffic (the 405 ain’t got nothing on the Sunol Grade), the actual changing of seasons, the 80% male population, or the conspicuous lack of beaches.
I will, however, be unemployed again. ce la vie
Things I will miss about NoCal include: the few friends left who haven’t also moved away, the huge variety of food, and, ummm, I think that about sums it up. I’ve been up here for some 7 years, and though it’s better than most other places I’ve lived in the U.S., it doesn’t hold a candle to my beloved SoCal. See you soon, Pacific Ocean.
Iraqi Pipelines Are Pumping Oil Again
Many Iraqis have complained bitterly, and frequently, about U.S. forces rushing to secure oil fields and the capital's oil ministry, leaving other ministries, universities, museums, hospitals and businesses to be looted and burned. U.S. officials have acknowledged they were surprised by the rampage, and said troops were too occupied by combat to intervene when they first reached Baghdad.
"Our focus in restoring the oil is to give the biggest benefit to the Iraqi people," said Brig. Gen. Robert Crear, the top U.S. official charged with getting Iraq's oil production up and running.
suuuuuuure, to benefit the Iraqi people. And I’m sure the $600 million found a few days ago will go towards the Presidential campain… to benefit the Iraqi people.
PS And where did all those weapons of mass destruction go?
PPS Admittedly, Bush can’t win with a bleeding heart liberal like me. Even if we did eventually find something, I’d assume we planted some of our own stash for Easter.
PPPS Speaking of which, how do we justify developing chemical weapons when we say no one else can?
PPPPS And who’s lab did SARS leak out of, and why aren’t we trying to bomb them/us? Oh yeah, they don’t have oil. Never mind.
Jane, you ignorant slut
I struggled for a good 20 minutes with this map of the Middle East/North Africa. It’s really quite embarrassing (but fun-educational), trying to pull up random geography knowledge (though I am positive that I was never taught where Krgyzstan is), though probably not as embarrassing if I was given the same task with a map of the United States. It took me about 4 tries before I was able to finish with a minor amount of trouble. See how you do.
(via tempest in a teapot)
There’s a sign at the refrigerator here at work that says:
DO NOT REMOVE
FOOD OR BEVERAGE
THAT
DOES NOT
BELONG TO YOU
spelled, punctuated, and presented as shown. Like I really want someone’s sad tuna sandwich and diet Pepsi… I have my own sad tuna sandwich.
As I finish up my contract work in the Silicon Valley, I’ll be driving back and forth to L.A. every weekend to move the last of my stuff, and see ADG. This, my virtual friends, is a whole hell of a lot of driving. A whole hell of a lot. Consequently, I am bound to have observations centered around my car, or things I see whilst in my car every Monday for the next couple of weeks. To whit:
.:At a gas station in the middle of nowhere along the 5, I notice that the button for the 87 octane gasoline is worn down to where it is unreadable. ‘A sign of the times?’ me thinks to myself as I also choose the cheapest option.
.: The woman in front of me at the McDonald’s drive-thru window is yelling into the intercom complaining of stale fries. She explains that yes, she already has her fries, she was just in the drive-thru, but they are stale, and she wants fresh ones. There is a long pause as the teenager at the other end tries to assimilate what an asshole this woman is, and that she is not, indeed, ordering anything, which is what the teenager is programmed to handle. ‘Uh, please pull up to the second window.’ Besides, the obvious issues with why you would even bother with “stale fries” (it’s McDonald’s fer chrissakes!), why the hell would you trudge through the drive-thru again? Go inside!
I got paid today. For the first time in over a year, my monthly income is greater than my expense. I’m not sure how I feel about that. It’s good, to be sure, and I’ll be sad to see it go in a couple of weeks before I’ve even had a chance to get used to it. But today, I’m rich!
Allow me to ask a stupid question. Or, rather, there are no such things as stupid questions, though this one, gernerally is. More correctly, there is nothing intrinsic in the question itself to make it stupid, rather it is the inquisitor himself who is of less than average intelligence. To continue:
You know the whole 9-to-5 thing? whatta way to make a livin’ Here’s my confusion: the hours of 9 A.M. to 5 P.M. span 8 hours. The average work day is 8 hours. The average lunch hour is, err, an hour. 8-1=7. So, on the 9-to-5 schedule, you are actually only physically working 7 hours [EDITOR’S NOTE: this does not include subtractions for staring at the walls, standing by the water cooler, or other trivial, time-wasting pursuits… such as blogging]
So my question: is a company-allowed lunch period of one hour included in your 8 hours of work? Can I really just work 9-to-5, or do I have to stay until 6 to get 8 hours? (the fact, that I’ve been working 9 to 7:30 is not relevant at this point). This is something I’ve always wondered about, but been too embarrased too ask. All hail internet anonimity.
