Sign at a gas station this morning:
Our commitment to you…
– Quality products
– Convenient services
– Premium Value
Someone had crossed out Our and scrawled God’s above it. I’m glad God has my back when I’m buying gas.
Happy Birthday
Totally unexpected but totally appreciated, I got a belated birthday gift from Erica. Thank you!
I’ve “known” Erica for quite a while now (at least in blog-years), and she’s been a great friend.
Which is why I shall now embarass her.
Behold, my first mention on her blog:
Oh, one last thing. Check out David’s weblog. I was entertained all day today with his writings. I couldn’t wait to get home this afternoon and see if he posted today. Since I spent my whole day obsessing over him, I sent him an email. OK, I wasn’t obsessing but it sure feels like that at times when you read so much about someone you don’t know. You MUST know what I’m talking about if you’re sitting there reading my blog! So we’ll see if he writes back. Even if he doesn’t write back, his log is good. Check it out.
Thanks again!
A new low
Well, it was bound to happen. Not having a job, or more specifically, not having any income caused me to chose discretion in lieu of…err… spending. Therefore, I didn’t order Chinese-food like I wanted to and instead made *drumroll*:
SpongeBob SquarePants Mac ‘n Cheese!!!
sigh…
I had bought said meal in a box as an emergency item, never intending to actually eat it. And I did. And oh the times I had trying to identify SpongeBob, Squidward, Gary, Patri…oh dear god.
I’ve added a new page. Nothing too terribly of interest to the general public, actually; just an attempt to categorize the books I’ve read. It might give some insight into the type of guy I am… but then again, maybe not. It’s a work in progress…
Also, added some more submitted plates pics. Thanks!
Things I’ve Learned While Unemployed: First in an Increasingly Likely Series
.: I now know, intimately, all of the characters on SpongeBob SquarePants
.: though highly touted in the reverse, money can indeed, buy happiness
.: it is entirely possible to subsist on only two food groups. As long as one of them is cheese and the other one is chips.
.: “outside” is only an imagined place, where “sun” shines and “people” go “places”
.: that motivation can be inversely proportional to business of schedule
.: that M*A*S*H is on 8 times a day
.: though now given the perfect opportunity, I still haven’t died my hair red or blond; or, seen what I’d really look like with a goattee
ADDENDUM
.: that when They say, “We’ll let you know early next week”, They don’t really mean “early” at all. In fact, They don’t intend to let you know anything, in any time frame, ever again. They say it knowing that They will never contact you, and will instead leave you hanging, twisting in a self-induced wind of worry, and wonder, and self-hatred. Should you have the audacity to contact them, They will chuckle audibly at your stupidity, saying without saying that they clearly reserved the right to play with your emotions by buying you lunch.
more as I learn.
Cheeeeeeeez!My…what? third or fourth Mirror Project submission? Something like that.
Well, let’s be more specific. You can also find me:
.:here
.:here
.:and here
How gloriously vain of me, I must say. I have some others taken in D.C. that will have to make there way to being submitted, so stay tuned.
As if you’d really come back again and again just to see another picture of me in a bathroom somewhere.
PSA
People continue to get gunned down in communities near our nation’s capital. Despite the Stuff and Stuff’s staff’s usual light and fluffy mood when it comes to matters of national concern, in this case we feel the need to release a detailed and heartfelt statement:
My parent’s live within spitting distance of Manassas, VA you bastard. Leave them and everyone else the fuck alone; you cowardly kid and woman-shooting son of a bitch.
Thank you for your attention, now back to our regularly scheduled programming:
Pants AND Things?! Wow, what a store!
image courtesy of a friend of mine who needs water
There is a customer service number on my Fish Sticks™.
I’m to call this number should I have any comments or inquiries, fish, or fish stick related. Should I have comments not pertaining to fish stick application, preparation, or nutritional value I am invited to find my own resource as a number where I might find the answers to my frozen taquitos questions is not provided… And don’t even get me started on questions on religion, ’cause brother, Van de Kamp’s is just not set up for that kind of onslaught of logical reasoning:
Me: …but if there is a God, how does He justify all the suffering in the world? I mean, why would he really have let that kid get stuck in that well a few years ago?
Operator: Did you say that you had preheated the oven to 400°?
Still, it’s comforting to know that there is at least some respite from the Fish Stick Storm™ when I’ve tried everything short of the 3-step simple instructions printed on the box in basic quasi-sentences that could most likely be translated by a Slavic two-year-old with no actual formal English or otherwise training… and even if that proved a bit daunting the easy to discern pictures would have sufficiently pointed the way. Having said that, thank the customer service gods above that there is light at the end of my dark dark tunnel, and my Fish Sticks™ need not remain frozen and inexplicably planted next to my cactus, a result of my inability to actually, say, cook them. Whew!
Garbled, shouted Spanish
screams and yells
floor shaking and rumbling
inquisitive neighbors out on their porches
tumbling and crashing sounds, and yelling yelling yelling
cops
I love my neighborhood
