floorpie

What’s the deal with divas?

di�va

n. pl. di�vas or di�ve

1. An operatic prima donna.

2. A very successful singer of nonoperatic music

Etymology: Italian, literally, goddess, from Latin, feminine of divus divine, god

Inflected Form(s): plural: divas or di.ve

There has been such an influx of divas, lately, that it hardly seems possible that they won’t outstrip the normal population by as soon as the end of this decade. It used to be that the title of Diva had to be earned, through perhaps divine right, or at the very least, extreme and exemplary service to mankind.

In ancient times, Hera was a diva, Helen of Troy was a diva, Cleopatra was a diva. More recently, people like Amelia Earhart and Aretha Franklin come to mind.

Now, chicks like Christina Aguilera are being given the diva distinction. I mean, sure she’s a total hottie (though you know she’s no Britney guurrrll), and can sing like a mutha-fucka, but diva? I don’t know, it just doesn’t seem right.

PS (aka where shameless plugging just gets sad): Don’t forget to participate in the First Annual Kiss-Off

Well the goal of 20 participants has more or less been reached in the First Annual Kiss-Off. As I’m sure you’re aware this now guarantees that valuable prizes will be awarded. Also, as suggested by one of you. There will be prizes for the winner, as well as the loser (or rather the “slut” and the “prude” as I prefer to think of them). The current top and bottom few are as follows:

1. Bill 4.6

2. Norman 4.5

3. Jonathan 3

…

16. Jessica 0.67

17. Sarah 0.71

18. Rouslan 0.43

with the non-weighted average being 2.02 as of this writing. As you can see, and contrary to popular opinion, the gentlemen are the bigger ho’s…save for Rouslan (current #18) who is forgiven as he is luckily engaged.

At any rate, the contest shall continue until at least the end of the week, so, go out there and win win win!

About five more to go…

Well, The First Annual Kiss-Off is proceeding along quite nicely (at least for a B-list site like mine!), and We’ve reached half way to our goal of 20 participants before valubale prizes* will be awarded to the winner. I urge you all to play! (especially the bulk of my so-called “regulars” who have strangely been mute as of this writing).

In other news, I’ve decided to become a millionaire. It just makes good financial sense, you know?

* “valuable” is relative. The editors of Stuff and Stuff hold themselves not liable for any misconception between the participants definition of “valuable” and the contest creator’s. having said that, free stuff to you is still free!

Can you remember the name of the first girl (or guy) you ever kissed? Of course you can (Missa).

Can you remember the name of the, say…fourth? Errr. I think it was Summer, but it might have been Kelly.

Don’t get the wrong impression (entirely); it’s not that I can’t keep track of all the ladeez, I’m just struggling with the actual order. It’s kind of an interesting exercise, actually; but, probably not to the person you may be dating at the current time (fair warning). I’m no Casanova, of course, but in my roughly 10 years of dating life, I’ve racked up a paltry xx people to keep track of (and roughly divide that number in half for a full round of the bases). Not too bad considering almost 7 years of that time were committed to one person…not that it’s a competition, of course.

Or more, specifically, it is.

And so I announce:

The First Annual Kiss-Off

Rules

1. To be counted, kisses must be of the French variety

2. Multiple instances with the same person separated by a number of years and/or other relationships still count as 1

3. Kisses in any form of consciousness, inebriation, or lack thereof, are completely legal

4. Kisses garnered (remember Rule #1) with the express purpose of winning the contest are also completely legal

Scoring

1. Find the sum of all people you have kissed (e.g. 5 lucky gals)

2. Subtract the age that you began dating from your current age (e.g. now 50 – was 37= 13)

3. Divide the number of kisses, by the years kissable to get your KiPY ratio Kisses Per Year (e.g. 5/13= .38 KiPY)

This seems to be a relatively equal way to compete, as it is based on an average rather than a total. SO, leave your score in the comments section, and spread the word! If more than 20 people participate, prizes will be awarded.

Buh?

Everyone is talking about the earthquake (and by everyone I mean Ernie ’cause who else is there really?), so I thought I’d chime in.

I also felt the earthquake.

Being the seasoned Californian that I am, and having experienced many a quake from back before the Northridge days, I bemusedly sat on the couch for a bit, put a bookmark in my book, and suavely sauntered over to a doorway. (I will be the first to tell you, that my conditioning will probably get me hurt someday, and I showed an embarrassing lack of concern which I would not recommend for anyone else).

My companion, on the other hand, was experiencing her first earthquake ever, and was a bit freaked out. She regained her senses to sum up her feelings rather well, though, with an extremely apt, “I think I can live without that.”

Wax On, Wax Off

click, click, wirrrr “Crap!”

stomp stomp stomp, vroooom, screech, cables cables, vrooom…. “OK, cross my fingers…”

click click, VROOOM “Sweet!”

cables cables, vroom, stomp, stomp “Better try that again, just to make sure…”

click click, wirrrrr … “Sonofa…” click … “Grrrr…”

pop, torque torque, lug, lug, vrooom “One battery, please.”

vrooooom, lug, lug, torque torque “OK, deep breath and…”

click vrrOOOOOM “Whew! Hmmm, and again…” click vrrOOOOOM “Good, well, while I’m at it…”

torque, torque, drain drain, oil oil pour “OK! Hmmm, damn my truck is dirty…”

wash, wash, wash “Hmmm, she let me use her car all day, so…”

wash, wash, wash “well, hell…”

wax, wax, wax “crap, might as well…”

wax, wax…pant, pant…wax…collapse “…”

One battery with replaced terminals, one oil change, two car washes, two car waxes, and no food all day later, I have absolutely nothing witty or creative to say.

Well that’s convenient. A free spell-checker for web-based text input boxes (used in applications like, oh I don’t know, weblogs?)

via geekafied

PS said app suggested I change “spellchecker” to “spell-checker”…I concurred

I’ve told four women in my life that I love them. Three of them reciprocated.

I probably wasn’t really in love with the first, in retrospect; but, I certainly thought so at the time, in all of my 16 years of wisdom.

The second, I was actually in love with, but sometimes these things come as well as go, and that’s what happened.

With the third, it wasn’t so much that she failed to reciprocate, in truth. To be more accurate, she loved me before I loved her; and, by the time I did, she was too hurt to let herself any longer.

The fourth is sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows.

Have you?