floorpie

In reference to my earlier post:

voltron says: you’re mom is gonna buy a gun…. sweeeeet

Lion-O says: scary, huh?

voltron says: definitely a shotgun

voltron says: …with sawed off handle and barrel of course

Lion-O says: naturally

voltron says: tell em to get an AK

Lion-O says: I was thinking grenade launcher

voltron says: all the kids have em….they’re in

voltron says: yeah… but then you have to like set it up and drop them in….you might not have time for all that

Lion-O says: you could if you sleep with it

voltron says: i dont think your mom could handle a shotgun

voltron says: they are clunky and heavy

voltron says: she needs to take advantage of her agility….

voltron says: go for the glock 21…… or sig sauer

Lion-O says: right, and her innate Asian kung-fu style

voltron says: ..it never hurts to have some shuriken tucked away in the pockets…

Lion-O says: true true

voltron says: they can be used very effectively with smoke balls

Lion-O says: wait, I’m writing this down… smoke balls…

Do you want fries with that?

Subway never ceases to amaze me. There’s something about their Sandwich Technicians turned Zombies that turns their ears off whenever you order anything. To whit:

Dave: Hi, can I get a foot-long veggie, on white, with everything, please?

Food Dood: OK. What kind of bread?

Dave: Uhh, white…

Food Dood: mayonnaise-mustard?

Dave: Yes…everything.

Food Dood: Everything on that?

Dave: Yes…

Food Dood: hot peppers?

Dave: Yes…

Food Dood: salt-n-pepper?

Dave: Yes…

Food Dood: oil and vinegar?

Dave: NO! Dear god NO! Wait…did you say “oil and vinegar”? Oh, then yes.

Other things I don’t understand:

– why cigarette smokers get immunity from littering laws

– why birds suddenly appear, every time you are near

We got so caught up in the skin eating that we forgot about the love. – Dr. Hibbard

I went to see K-PAX last night. Two words: sweet. It presented a tableau of interesting characters and a unique way of looking at life, your place in the universe, and the possibility of realities outside your own.

Or something.

Dave gives it 4 out of 5 thumbs up.

Two things

In Fry’s today, buying software for work (Windows 2000), the cashier asked me what I was going to do with my purchase. I said, “uh, I’m going to use it at work” all the while wondering if he was testing me for possible software piracy (which, of course, I may also be doing). He said…

“Oh…I’d like to invite you to my website.”

“Uh…okayyyyyy…” /smiling quizzically/

“It’s my website, at least I hope it’s a good website.”

“Uh…okayyyyy. Ummm, mabe just write it on the back of the receipt there?”

“oh yes” /smiles/ “that would be good…that’s two T’s and one R.”

You know how when you’re watching TV, and you have to go to the bathroom? You usually wait until a commercial, and then make haste towards the loo. If you’re like me (and most guys) you start unbuckling your belt, and undoing your pants as you walk up the restroom.

Which is fine.

Unless you’re at work.

So, I’m working on a redesign to be unveiled when I transfer to my new domain. If this exercise has taught me anything, it’s that, although I may be creative, and a product designer, I suck at graphic design. Bleh. To that end, expect something fairly unspectacular, and heavily borrowed from you all.

About once a week, a co-worker and I walk up to the local Krispy Kreme and get donuts…and I mean donuts in the strictest sense of the word. She gets a donut, and I get a donut, thereby making donuts; but I digress… The purpose of this trip is really more to k’vetsh about our coworkers than the sugar rush involved…and that’s not the point of this story, either.

The point is in relation to the receipt. It just simply cracks me up that they give you a receipt for two donuts, as if I’m going to return one and say, “I’m sorry, this cinnamon-apple donut did no fulfill my donut needs. I would like to exchange it for a maple bar and/or store credit.”

Boo!

Last night, I went to a pumpkin carving party at Tim’s. This is what came out. The photo is awfully dark…but can you see the brains?

Ariel also went to a pumpkin party at Tim’s last night. Not the same Tim, but nevertheless we’re obviously on the same wavelength.

I was paying bills, and I remembered a post I made a long time ago. Suddenly, it’s not funny at all.

I’ve made it to the hallowed “favored status” on captions blog (as created by druzba). Fear me.

Arrgghh! I let loose the cry of fuck me! in deference to Textism.