floorpie

One of the lasting effects from the fire I have noticed, is that I’m a little paranoid about electronics. I was helping a friend hang Christmas lights this weekend, and the janky light timer we plugged them into has been getting my second glances all week. There’s nothing wrong with it, I’m sure. If it had been before The Fire, I wouldn’t have given it a second thought… but now I do. It’s gone so far, in fact, that I almost added a fire extinguisher to my wishlist. Every time I hear sirens in the distance, they’re always a house-fire to me. No more robberies, no more car accidents, just house-fires, all over the city.

Diligence, of course, is not a bad thing. Paranoia, however, is. Should I refuse to leave the house with anything still plugged in, that’s when you have permission to commit me.

Not that I watch it or anything, but, you know that your previously underground hobby has gone mainstream when, during a Desperate Housewives episode, Lynette’s one of the main character’s admin responds to the question, “Are you busy?” with, “No, I’m just updating my blog.”

And that was a long sentence.

I’ve been crazy busy with work (preparing for an extended trip to China, and trying to tie up loose ends) and apartment insurance stuff. It’s interesting, many people told me that my good attitude about the whole fire thing would fade quickly when reality set-in. So far, though, I’ve proved them all wrong, and my mood remains buoyant and optimistic.

I just really, truly, don’t care.

I don’t think this is because I’m a cold and heartless person, and instead choose to think I am exactly the opposite (warm and heartfelt)… therefore meaning that I just don’t care about material possessions.

PS Blogger’s integrated spell-check doesn’t know the word “blog”

You’re thinking to yourself, “What’s going on with Dave? Is he alright? Did his rubble burn down?!”

I’ll tell you what’s wrong with Dave: Dave’s still at work. He’s 12 hours into his 13(?) 14(?) 15(?) day, and looking forward to his hour drive home.

I know a lot of you out there do the same thing routinely… but I bet most of you are going back to your own, smoke-free, homes, too.

Ha! I win the Pity Contest!

Bush has balls. Knows how to use them.

KYOTO, Japan (CNN) — U.S. President George W. Bush is pushing China to grant more freedoms to its people, citing Taiwan as an example of a successful Chinese democracy.

…”Modern Taiwan is free and democratic and prosperous. By embracing freedom at all levels, Taiwan has delivered prosperity to its people and created a free and democratic Chinese society,” Bush will say according to an advance text released by the U.S. White House…

As you all know, I am no fan of the Bush Administration; but , I have to admit that the above is either one of the ballsiest (or the stupidest) things anyone has ever said. If you know anything about China’s relationship with Taiwan (and I like to think I do), then you know that China does not look favorably on any signs of independence from it’s wayward son, Taiwan.

For Bush to go to China, on their turf, and basically say, “Yo, Taiwan is independent, just like the US. Levi’s, Pepsi, GI Joe, MacDonald’s!” (note: Bush says “MacDonald’s” instead of “McDonald’s” because he’s borderline retarded, you see) is incredibly gutsy and/or idiotic.

Basically, I liken it to standing in Mike Tyson’s living room talking about how I totally gave it to his mother in the backdoor. One way or another, I’m leaving that room dead.

.: track the location of 500 satellites. As an ex-Lockheed guy with some satellites flying over head, I found this fascinating.

Dave’s first non fire-related post in a while

Whenever I am talking with people and need to remind them of certain obligations to be somewhere at a certain time (for instance, walking up to a group of co-workers that are supposed to be in a meeting with me, and trying to broach the subject), I check the time and say something like, “Oh, aren’t we supposed to be at blah blah blah right now?” Or, “Oh, it’s 2:30, isn;t it time for blankety blank blank?”

This is entirely appropriate and normal.

What isn’t entirely appropriate and normal is the fact that I check the time on my wristwatch… that doesn’t exist… and hasn’t for at least 20 years. And yet I still look at my wrist like an idiot all the same.

I’m weird.

Sifting (literally and figuratively) through the broken remains of your existence really works up an appetite and leaves you physically drained. For those considering burning their houses down, I’m going to have to go ahead and recommend against it. Nothing personal, mind you, I just think you’ll be surprised how much of a pain in the ass it is. If you insist, though, I also recommend that you go ahead and print out a few dozen sheets detailing the entire story, whether or not you had insurance, what your immediate plans are, and that you really appreciate the support. Just hand those mothas out to anyone you see, peripheral vision or face-to-face. Trust me, this will save you a lot of wind.

Also, buy trash bags. Lots and lots of trash bags.

A Silver Lining?

Weeks ago I was in need of Q-tips. Or, I guess more specifcally, I was in need of ear cleaning which would be facilitated, to the best of my knowledge, most appropriately by Q-tips. I therefore went to my local Walgreens, not really needing a full market-run, and only needing Q-tips, I think shaving cream, and possibly something benign like Band-Aids. Or something.

At any rate, no where in the store could I find Q-tips. Not near the medial supplies, not near the make-up… and I have to stop my list there, how many more places would they really be? Nevertheless, I walked the whole store twice, not asking anyone about their location as I was sure that I could find a rather slow and non-moving target like Q-tips on my own.

I couldn’t.

Defeated, I went to the well-known location of the shaving cream, next to which, strangely, were the Q-tips. Well, not exactly. These were “cotton swabs”, and they were 1,000 for a dollar. 1,000 for $1! So I got them, dreaming happily of clean ears.

But it was not to be. Without going into too much detail, there is a lot to be said of the brilliance of Q-tip brand Q-tips over your lesser 1000:$1 product. You’re thinking, “How hard could it be to re-create the simplicity of a Q-tip?” Well, I’m here to tell you, it’s apparently very hard, as these things were wholly inadequate and entirely disappointing. Luckily Unfortunately, I now had 999 left to suffer through.

Until the fire.
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Cotton being it’s absorbent self, and despite the fact that these cotton swabs were in the bottom of a cabinet two rooms away, they got completely ruined by smoke. They reeked of burning belongings and had a fine film of soot that came off in my hands when I tried to use one. And, as I threw roughly 977 cotton swabs in the trash this morning, I thought to myself what a wonderful thing fire sometimes is.

The thing about the soot (and that is the thing that there is a thing about)… the thing about the soot is that it gets everywhere. And I don’t mean “everywhere” in the same sense that most generalizations are used like, “Oh, that happens to me all the time.” Really? All the time? Of course not. Or, “I was heading that way forever!” Forever you say! That’s incredible, because it seems like I’m talking to you now, and the definition of forever kind of suggests that that shouldn’t be possible.

And the like.

We all do it, it ain’t no thing… but that is precisely the reason that it’s so important for me to clarify that when I say the soot gets everywhere, I mean literally and not figuratively everywhere.

It gets on all the walls and ceilings. It gets inside closets. It gets on shirts sandwiched between other shirts inside closed drawers in other rooms under blankets. It gets in the little grooves on your toothpaste cap.

It. Gets. Everywhere.

And, what’s worse, it’s incredibly voracious. I brought my shampoo bottle over to my friends’ house while they’re letting me stay with them. This is effectively soap surrounded loosely by material. This is the definition of clean. This is also the dirtiest thing I have in the shower. I have had this shampoo bottle in the shower with me for the last 4 days. During those 4 days I have taken at least 2 showers a day as I come back to my temporary home covered in soot and the smell of burning everything after a long day of laughing at myself and situation and saying goodbye to my once valuable belongings. In that time, I have washed, scrubbed, and generally cleaned that shampoo bottle every time I get the chance, and it is STILL coated in soot. It’ slightly better after 4 days in the shower, sure, but the grime still remains.

And that should really tell you a little something about the kind of soot we’re dealing with here, peopple.