floorpie

I am currently posting from Kinko’s instead of from work, as my Comcast high speed internet connection decided to suddenly stop working. It is somewhat less than comforting to hear the tech guys (both times I’ve called them) say, “Huh…. that’s weird.” Hopefully, we’ll be able to figure this out without me having to sit at home from the hours of 8 to 5…

PS I just heard a Kinko’s help-guy repeatedly ask a guy, “Do you have an Apple PC? Do you have an Apple PC?” Yes I’m a dork for at all taking issue with that statement, but I found the oxymoron fairly humorous.

Does pleading insanity somehow mean you didn’t kill, or attempt to kill, some 10-15 innocent human beings?

Apparently it does, and stuff like that raises my ire. That’s right sucks, ire. Personally, in matters such as these, I am very much a proponent of the Code of Hammurabi; especially:

If a man put out the eye of another man, his eye shall be put out.

Or, “an eye for an eye” as we really know it. I really don’t feel that your state of mind, your mental capacity, or whatever other lame excuse you can come up with for acting erratically is any excuse for the actions you have done. I believe that you have to stand up and take responsibility for your actions, no matter how much you didn’t mean to.

Accidentally shoot someone because you dropped your gun while cleaning it? You killed someone, go to jail or to death, depending on what you believe.
Brakes fail because you somehow get a crimp in the brake line and you plow into someone’s house? You’re paying for it; it was your car and you were driving.
“Accidentally” shoot a dozen or so people in the Washington D.C. area creating a season of terror for the entire country? Yeah.

In typical contradictory fashion, I am very merciful in my own life, always giving people the benefit of the doubt to near ridiculousness, and forgiving slights and transgressions fairly immediately. The D.C. snipers, though? Well, my parents live in the area, so burn baby, burn.

We knew her when

Point of information. After a long absence, Sarah Hepola is back and blogging. She is a must read. She (that is, her site) is not a must see as it is a no-frills affair with even less color than this one. Her writing, however, is very good, thus the must read status. That is all.

Voters in a State of Change

In a historic California election marked by a tide of angry voters, a circus-like atmosphere, and more attention to politics than has ever been seen in this classically laid-back state, both controversial ballot measures went down in defeat.

In what may be recorded as the most powerful and unique election period in California state history, Proposition 53 and 54 met sharp criticism and voter disdain as the polls closed Tuesday, garnering only weak support in outlying regions filled with little known California "country-hicks" and "crazy yokels".

Proposition 53, an amendment to the state Constitution to dedicate 3% of state taxes to infrastructure improvements was deemed, "Just crazy-stupid," by first time voter Tamarah Jackson. "Like what? We really need more roads to have traffic jams on?" she went on to say. "Besides, my parents pay enough in taxes as it is."
>
Proposition 54 would have prohibited the classification of individuals based on race, ethnicity, color, or national origin. Touted by some as the Working-For-The-Man proposition, support for it's defeat was summed up by Native American-Lithuanian immigrant Yalev Redcloud in saying, "Basically, that shit is totally wack. I don't really understand all the details, but if I have some money coming to me because of my NatAm-Lithu heritage, I'll be damned if I'm not gonna get it."

Representatives for both propositions could not be reached for comment.

In other statewide news, Gary Coleman failed in his race for the governorship, though Gray something or other got recalled. I think.

The phone rang at 4:30 this morning. It was Gray Davis. He was frantic, a little spacey, and in my opinion, would definitely be having a morning of throwing up and regret. But for now he was flying high and in a panic. I answered groggily:

He..hello? Who is this?

DUDE!

What? Who is this?! Do you know what time it is? Do I know what time it is?

Duuuuuuude…. get out the vote!

Oh for… Gray?! Is that you? For the last time leave me alone!

Dude, I really really really need your vote

No you don’t man, you’re screwed either wa…

Dude, so I’ve got your vote? Sweet, I have 17,458,234 more people to call before the polls open

You do not have my vote, Gray. Sorry bro, but I gave you two chances already, and three strikes, you’re out.

ZING!

Thought you’d like that one. Seriously though, Gray, what did you expect, you’re a total clown.

Yeah, I know. I was just hoping, you know? Dude, they have towels in the Governor’s mansion with your name on them! How friggin’ cool is that?

Just take em’ with you, man. How many other people do you know named “Gray”?

You think I should? You think that would be cool?

Why not? You’ve screwed over the State fairly royally already, you might as well go out in style! Now buh-bye…

*click*

That whole Governor thing

So I have less than 24-hours to come to a final decision on that whole Governor thing you’re probably all sick of hearing about. I don’t know the geographical break-down of floorpie readers, but I assume at least some of you aren’t from California. Due to rampant media coverage, though, you have been forced to care about the recall anyway.

At any rate, I am a bleeding heart liberal in a Democratic state; but, for better or worse I am still leaning towards the Governator. And why? Because despite the fact that he’s Republican, an actor, an apparent womanizer, has no appreciable experience, and can’t even say California without it sounding like Cauliflowrnia, he seems to be the lesser of several evils.

First off, let’s just dismiss Davis. True, if someone else hadn’t done it, I never would have been motivated enough to seek the impeachment of the standing Governor. I’ve had a pretty constant disgust for Gray, despite my voting for him twice; but I never personally considered the idea of replacing him before his tenure was up. Having said that, though, I now have the opportunity to oust him, and I for one intend to take it.

Secondly, are there any compelling liberal candidates? Cruz Bustamante? You must be joking. We are in the process of impeaching a Governor for the way he has run the State, and you ask me to consider electing his right-hand man who has been very much a part of the administration we are seeking to expel? The logic of that escapes me. Not to mention that it was very oily of Cruz to back Gray in the beginning, and then work against him in the end. Who wants waffles? In fact, nothing could illustrate this better than his slogan: “No on recall… yes on Bustamante”

OK, no on… but then yes on. Wait, wait. OK, no on the reca… but then yes, see for… wait, wait, wait.
>
Peter Camejo? Being the bleeding heart, there are a lot of things I like about going Green. Not everything, but a lot. Pete seems to have a good head on his shoulders, and his heart’s in the right place; but I don’t htink he has the backbone or frankly lobbying ability to get what needs to be done, done. No disrespect to him, though; he has seemed neither incompetent or oily, slick or insincere. We’ll leave him in the Maybe pile.

Tom McClintock? As everyone, I will say the same: he has great experience, appears honest to a fault, is the most compelling real candidate; but is just way way too far to the Right.. especially for a state that is just so much better when it feels loose and liberal.

So where does that leave us? Gary Coleman or Arnold Schwarneneggerlovichalazzex. To his credit, Arnold actually seems serious about the job. To his detriment, he has no practical experience… but maybe that’s what we need right about now. As he says, “I am not beeholdem tooh aneebawdy.”

sigh

STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL

Dear Sir/Madam

I am engineer Frank Chukwuka. an engineer with the federal ministry of petroleum Resoures,I got your contact through a friend whom I told I needed an assistance on some information,although I did not disclose the nature of business to him,since itdemands absolute secrecy.

The tiny Republic of benin a country in west africa discovered crude oil,black Gold in port-novo and since they are not members of ORGANIZATION OF PETROLEUM EXPORTING COUNTRY(OPEC)they reqested for our assistance through our ministry whose subsidiary is the (NNPC),we were able to assist in drilling and excavating of this black Gold and also spot lifting. As a result of the spot lifting an escess of(us$50.5m)fifty million five hundred thousand united states Dollars was recorded and it is in our favour,my colleagues then decided we should look for an honest and sincere person who would clear responsibility of this amount because the law of our country does not allow civil servants to operate foreign account.presently the money is safely kept in an escrow account secure from all eyes. We shall be meeting with you if you accept to assist us,secondly it would also afford us to know what percentage that will be given to you,for your assistance.It will take seven working days to actualize this project and safely transfer into your bank account on our behalf and yourself. I will appreciate your quick response through my email address, Iam open to further question you may wish to ask in respect of this business transaction.Please kindly send your private telephone and fax numbers.

Best Regards,
Engr. Frank Chukwuka

You know for an engineer with the “federal ministry of petroleum Resoures“, my good friend Frank really has the worst< spelling, grammar, and punctuation of anyone in recent memory. What's more, my good friend Frank who got my contact through a friend, still addresses me as Sir/Madam. Seriously now, if you’re going to try and scam me, at least don’t be so sloppy. Perhaps they might take me on as a consultant…

I’ve mentioned before that I work (I work!) on the second floor of a building bereft of elevators. As such, besides the fire-pole, I get to the first floor via the stairs.

That’s not exactly true. I get to the first floor via the stairs’ hand-rail, which I slide down. It’s a multi-part process really:

(1) walk down a couple of initial steps looking for other people
(2) slide down to first landing
(3) repeat step (1)
(4) repeat step (2) to first floor

I really don’t know why I do it. I know why I did it; but the fact that I do so consistently throughout the day is a bit of an oddity to me. But then I’m odd, so there you go.
>
What I really like more than the actual doing, is the wondering how many other people (if any) do the same thing.

Despite the additional aches and pains associated with advancing years, I had a great birthday weekend. For one thing, Friday night I was able to buy dinner for myself and three friends. This may not sound like a typical gift to you, but then you haven’t been unemployed for over a year. Finally having the resources to actually choose whether or not you can do something like that, as opposed to just automatically not, is very liberating.

And then there was ice-cream cake.

And dancing.

Saturday didn’t really begin until one in the afternoon due to the after-effects of the above; but once it did, things began to bode well for the coming year. ADG was kind enough to get me many thoughtful and awesome gifts; each I now have no idea how I might have lived so long without. Most of the day was spent lolling around listlessly and relaxing, vaguely aware that we had dinner plans later in the evening. I suggested on a couple of occasions that we might delay dinner for the next day, as it was cool if we just kept lying in bed watching the UT game and Office Space. ADG, however, was insistent…
>
…which was good as she’d organized a surprise party. Which was awesome. And also awesome.

Of aging

There’s really no denying it, I am definitely getting older. Tomorrow I will be turning *gulp* 29 (subtle hint–>wishlist), and in actuality I’m really rather ambivalent about it.

That’s not true.

I’m really really fairly confused about the whole thing. Well, not confused, per se, I understand the process of aging and how that whole “how old are you?” thing translates into years of said age… more I wonder how my perceptions can be so different from everyone else’s.
>
Meaning?

Meaning, that I don’t feel older; and in fact feel inwardly child-like a majority of the time, and am always waiting for some “adult” to run up to me and scream, “What art thou doing, nigh? A mere child!” (perhaps they wouldn’t scream at me quite so Shakespearian-ish).

However, when I go into Subway and stand next to the 16 year old girl that looks like she’s 24, and her 16 year old boyfriend who looks like he’s… 16, I realize that I am old(er), have nothing in common with these that are truly young, and am barely even visible on their age-centric radar. But I still feel cool… which is where the pathetic aspects of my older self most likely start to seep in. Though I am, mercifully, blind to them.
>
In summary: birthday tomorrow.