you shook me

When I was but a young lad, my mom had (and probably still has) a hand vibrator…and through the wonders of the internets I found a picture of one. As you can see, it’s an evil looking device that belies is singular function. It looks like it should control a robot or shoot flames or at least do something highly technical and mechanized.

Instead, it just sits there and vibrates at you.

See that little metal switch on the right? You’d throw the switch and the motor would kick into life with a loud electric crack. If you hadn’t already strapped it to your hand (via those metal springs at the bottom) then it was impossible to hold on to and only unplugging it would stop the madness.

I can’t imagine that this thing could be used in any kind of sexual way…the vibrations were too violent, the thing was heavy, and your hand was wrapped in moving metal. Instead, this thing was a massager in the truest sense of the word and my mom would use it to gently rub my head whenever I had a headache, which, in retrospect, was pretty often.

You couldn’t use the thing for more than 10 minutes before your whole arm was buzzing and you had to take a break, though. Which is why I’m glad my mom got me this much evolved wand vibrator…undoubtedly used as a sex toy, friendly plastic body, and no shooting flames or evil intent within it.

Today, it being the first of the year, and last night being what it was, it’s again being used to relieve a headache…though I suspect the cause is different than it was when I was 6.

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