They (where “They” is “The Company) have Gatorade in some of the vending machines here. This is good; because, you know, you burn mass amounts of electrolytes whilst sitting… in your cube.
In other news, this site needs a redesign.
From time to time, I’ll randomly be followed down a hallway by a stranger (that coincidentally happens to be going where I’m going). When I turn a corner, I like to silently run ahead a few dozen feet, and then go back to my normal walking pace. Then, when the person following me rounds the same corner, they suddenly find themselves much further away from me than our paces would suggest.
I like to think this freaks them out a little.
By the way, you should check out my cam, and bask in the splendor that is me, alone, sitting on my floor in my now empty apartment, in near darkness, pathetically typing on the floor and wishing I was either somewhere else completely or at least had a chair. It’s glorious.
How about Michael Jackson?
A while back, Heather Champ of The Mirror Project sent out a birthday wish: a mirror shot from Moby.
clever filler
Well, she got it! That is unspeakably cool, I think. At any rate, it’s funny.
Also, for those interested, I have my own, non-famous mirror shots here, here, here, here, and here (wow, I didn’t realize I’d done so many. Narcissus says what?)
On the way back from lunch, I was stopped behind a new Cadillac Escalade with a San Jose Sharks sticker on the back window. I don’t know… I don’t care how much you love a team, I don’t see putting a sticker on a $60,000 car. I mean, why stop there? Why not slap on a “My Other Car is a Porsche…Literally” on the bumper and “I don’t drive too fast, I fly too low” license plate fram while you’re at it.
Keyser Soze Conclusion Have now had two successive rounds of my 'Keyser Soze' bottle being one of two left in the mini-fridge, and then having the fridge be filled up again. I consider this a success. I intend to go steal the last remaining bottle and see what happens, but I suspect 'Keyser Soze' will survive. Long term monitoring will determine if 'Keyser Soze' can remain indefinitely. 04.15.03 14:22 hours
As I’m only at The Company as a contractor “my” desk isn’t really “mine” at all. It’s the old desk of the unfortunate man who’s lay-off afforded me work. As such, my large cubicle is filled to the brim with all manner of work-related detritus; which, as you can imagine, is endlessly interesting to sift through.
Today, I found an unused disk drive cleaning kit… for a 5 1/4″ drive. Most of you probably don’t even remember the true “floppy disks” of yore, but I do. Text-based Zork goodness was delivered via 5 1/4″. This particular cleaning kit cost $2.99 and claims to “Protect Your Precious Software”. Precious indeed.
On a related note, I also found a half-a-dozen old slides in the back of one of the drawes. They show various scenes of Hustler Honeys in some extremely compromising positions. Hustler Honeys in an orgy. hustler Honeys covered in whip-cream. Hustler Honeys and mop-haired porn-guy rolling on silk sheets. Hustler Honeys bending over to get me something… I don’t know what surprised me more: the fact that I found these in someone’s work-desk, or that they are clearly original slides from the 70’s and faithfully depict the, err, grooming habits of the time.
Bleh…
So I moved to LA this weekend. Let me tell you a little about moving out of a one bedroom apartment two floors up in the rain: it sucks. Moving in to a two-bedroom apartment in mild LA weather makes up for it. Let me also tell you a little something about U-Haul by way of a rough re-creation of a phone conversation:
scene: My packed up living room, stuff everywhere. It is the night before the move. Somewhere a phone rings
Me:Hello?
U-Haul: Hi, this is Joel Mamah, your account representative for U-Haul, calling to confirm your reservation
Me: Ah yes!, good!
U-Haul: Yes, you reserved a 17′ truck. We don’t have any coming in, would a 14′ be alright.
Me: Uh… what?
U-Haul: We only have a 14′ truck. Will that be OK?
Me: But I need a 17′ truck, see? That’s why I reserved one.
U-Haul: Umm, we could throw a 4’x6′ trailer on there for you, too. How’s that?
Me: Well, at this point, I don’t really have a choice now, do I?
U-Haul: (laughing) No.
Despite this, everything worked out, though damply, so I’m not disgruntled enough to use my extreme blogging-power to blackball U-Haul, but do you think it’s possible to let a reservee know that you can’t provide your promised service maybe more than a few hours away from their projected move? I mean, at least theoretically?
At any rate, all my stuff is in a big pile in the middle of everywhere in the new place. Also, I had a brush with fame when Ariel and Andreas stopped by randomly. You see, this happens in LA. Celebrities are everywhere.
Keyser Soze Water Update The weekend has taken it's toll. A mere two bottles in the fridge, 'Keyser Soze' remains. 04.14.03 0955 hours
They’re serving cake to someone who’s leaving the company right now. It’s everything I can do to keep my head down and remain inconspicuous… me being the dirty dirty contractor hired after the lay-offs, you see.
That’s not sexy
Being in a rush this morning, I picked up the colon-quivering experience which is a McDonald’s breakfast eaten in your car on the way to work. Consequently, I made my way to the bathroom this morning. Before doing so, I picked up my cell phone from my desk, put it into my back-pocket, and then thought the better of it and put it in my front pocket. There are two things troubling about this:
1. That I would take my cell-phone with me at all implies that I would use it while in the aforementioned bathroom. I don’t think I would ever actually do this, but my subconscious sure seems to think so.
2. I put the phone in my back pocket and then transferred it to my front as if I was afraid I’d sit on it. For me to do that I would still have to have my pants up around my waist as opposed to my ankles. I’m not sure what my inner-mind was planning, but I want no part of it.
Keyser Soze Water Update: oh-ho, bottles added! 12 total bottles again, 'Keyser Soze' remains. 04.11.03 at 1031 hours
Keyser Soze’s Water Update: 3 of 12 bottles now gone. 'Keyser Soze' remains. 04.10.03 at 1146 hours
UPDATE to Update: 6 of 12 bottles gone. 'Keyser Soze' remains. 04.10.03 1653 hours
