If I had to sum up Central Florida in one descriptive phrase it would be this:
There are a lot of Camaros here.
So I’m at the PTCuser World Event 2005 conference in Orlando, Florida; which, you can probably tell from the name, would be spectacularly boring to 95% of the population. You may be surprised to note that it is at least partially boring to the other 5% as well.
So far, I have attended a few interesting seminars (and some less so). Besides my actual notes that you wouldn’t find interesting, these are some of the things I’ve written in the margins (which you also won’t find interesting):
.: The guy next to me is clapping spontaneously during the keynote about new Pro/E features. This reminds me of that flawless victory guy
.: There areonlya lot of guys here
.: Correction, needs more description: there are a lot of balding/bald guys here
.: Someone behind me is complaining about needing to be at two places at once because there is so much to see and do. How is that possible?
.: wait. Is that a hott girl next to me? It can’t be. It is? I feel sorry for her, she must be hit on constantly [ed note: written with no sense of irony at my probable and eventual hitting on her]
The last 60+ hours
Friday
0730hrs: wake up
0845-1115: work (Hollywood)
1115-1300: drive to Irvine
1300-1845: gather, lunch, drive to Vegas baby, Vegas
1845-2230: check into Wynn Hotel. Oggle, chill, buffet
2230—
Saturday
–0630: poker, drink, poker, drink
0700-0800: sleep fitfully
0800-1030: shower, reflect, chill
1030-1300: Peppermill!
1300-1600: Wynn pool, ladeez
1600-1830: shower, Halo on 50 dual 50″ plasmas
1830-2100: Canazing Race, Rio, buffet
2100-2230: OG
2230-2300: regroup
2300—
Sunday
–0130: you can’t spell classy without CEE-gars
0130-0300: did I mention the plasmas?
0300-0430: sleep, glorious sleep
0430-0600: I did what? Go to airport
0600-0800: hurry up and wait
0800-0900: fly to LAX. psuedo-sleep 30 minutes
0900-1030: see 0600-0800
1030-1530: fly to Orlando
1530-now: check-in, shower, eat, TV, post
All told, and I don’t consider this some sort of achievement, rather a strange occurrence from which I am not exactly sure the means and methods by which I survived: I slept a total of 3 hours in the last 60. True, I don’t sleep much to begin with, but that’s a bit ridiculous, don’t you think? And what the hell am I doing in Florida?
Also, for future reference Don Diego is a cheap Captain Morgan replacement; but, it is so not a Captain Morgain replacement. Addendum: “Chicken fried steak? Meet Don Diego…” is not a statement that you want to hear again.
Here’s the thing, I hold you all responsible. True, I see enough TV as it is; but, what you perhaps don’t understand, having given me the benefit of the doubt when you shouldn’t have, is that most of it is crap (notable exceptions include The Simpsons and anything on The History Channel). How you could have gone 4 seasons without even mentioning Six Feet Under is nearly unforgivable.
>
Macabre humor!
Challenging adult situations!
The guy from The (new) Office!
>
I mean, this show has everything I have ever loved, including porn references. How can you beat that? Luckily (for you) I finally watched a few re-runs before the final season starts in a week.
Finally, something to live for.
Speaking of ADG… wait, no, start again:
Speaking of Vegas, I’m going there this weekend for a, wait for it, bachelor party. If you happen to be there, or live there, or know a woman of questionable morals passing through there, look for the really stupid looking idiot losing a lot of money in the poker room and hitting on the cocktail waitress. Also look for me at an as yet undecided on club either dancing by myself looking like a winner, or standing by myself and looking like a guy who wishes he looked like a winner.
Also reference the Wynn Hotel pool.
And The Peppermill.
After I have completed my (Nevada) debauchery, you may also meet me, the creator of floorpie.net on an early Sunday flight back to LA where I will promptly board a slightly less early flight to Orlando, Florida… to which I will be flying exhausted, somewhat drunk, and smelling of cigarette smoke, cards, and and… is that… stripper? No, that’s buffet.
Let me know if you’re a stalker living in Orlando… you can take me to dinner.
I watched the The Deer Hunter for the first time tonight. I’ve had it Tivo’d for months now, but for whatever reason I decided that I had to see it tonight. I walked in the door, immediately turned it on, and watched all 3 hours of it. I paused only briefly to make myself a sandwich.
I may have been inspired y an interview on NPR that I was listening to on the way home. Scorcese’s editor for every film he’s ever done, beginning with Raging Bull, was on, describing her experiences working with one of the world’s most accomplished director’s. The Deer Hunter has nothing to do with Scorcese of course, but Bobby D does and it was just one of those nights. If I had it on DVD instead of tape, I would have watched Goodfellas straight through right after.
And yes, I sang along with God Bless America and toasted Nick along with the rest of them… because Christoper Walken was every soldier who didn’t want to see what he saw but did anyway and ended up empty inside. That is why Christopher Walken is one good fucking actor, and that is why Christopher Walken deserves all the cowbell he wants.
Happy Memorial Day.
As Memorial Day has become yet another homogenized holiday (as have all the rest), I actually had to Google it to get the full meaning of the day.
Memorial Day, originally called Decoration Day, is a day of remembrance for those who have died in our nation's service...
...To help re-educate and remind Americans of the true meaning of Memorial Day, the "National Moment of Remembrance" resolution was passed on Dec 2000 which asks that at 3 p.m. local time, for all Americans "To voluntarily and informally observe in their own way a Moment of remembrance and respect, pausing from whatever they are doing for a moment of silence or listening to 'Taps."
It’s sad, really, going back to my original tangent, how meaningless holidays are now compared to when I was younger. They mostly represent either a day off work, or an obligation to purchase a card or present, now. Which holiday it is simply defines what color the card is. Or maybe it’s just that I’m cynical in my old age.
Annnnd scene…
Speaking of obligations, I saw Star Wars last night.
meh.
The majority of the compliments I heard coming out of the theater (and my mouth) were along the lines of, “It was a hell of a lot better than the first two,” which, if you think about it, isn’t a compliment at all. I’ll go slightyl one better and say that the lightsaber battles were cool, the last 30 minutes or so where everything got wrapped up was cool, and Samuel L. Jackson was killed, which was great.
The dialogue, however, was horrible. The Lucas should really just stick to inventing new effects, or cut out the dialogue dramatically as in THX 1138.
>
“I love you!”
“I love you more!”
“Nu-huh, ’cause I love you the most!”
Atrocious… and just a little offensive.
And I know Natalie Portman can act… I don’t think even Meryl Streep could have made that script palatable.
For the record: the new dolls that the kids these days have, with the animatronics and the real moving eyelids… those dolls are creepy.
I do this thing in the morning sometimes where, once I successfully get in the shower, I close my eyes for the duration. I’ll wash my hair with the eyes closed, scrub myself down with my eyes closed, turn off the water and dry off with my eyes closed, and generally do everything shower-related in total darkness.
Ostensibly, I do this because I have a theory that I wake up with eyes really dry (see previous posts about sleeping with my eyes half-open) and that this carries through the rest of the day, making my eyes tired, and my vision worse.
All I think about while I do this, however, is, “What if I was blind?” How would I get to work? Once I got there, what could I even do? How could I have any kind of style and not match my white socks to my black socks? How could I cook? How could I do really any of the things that I enjoy doing in my spare time (well, except…).
Just showering is difficult without the benefit of sight; and, lest you were wondering, being actually blind would totally suck. I don’t see being able to survive without a significant amount of outside assistance.
Somewhat related to this, I also (though infrequently) take a shower, this time with my eyes open, but with the lights off and the door closed. This is a completely different feeling… it’s not being blind, but being blind-ed and about to get a knife in your back by some kind of shower-murderer. I do not recommend the experience.
Blog post leads to murderer’s capture. One of those chilling but fortuitous things where the guy blogs about the suspect, only to be killed by him later.
Aside: Blogger’s spell-check didn’t recognize the word “blog”.
