floorpie

I don’t mind telling you that I have a fairly unhealthy fascination with Palm Solitaire. I can’t seem to break myself out of the habit, no matter how hard I try to. The non-interesting thing is, no matter how many hundreds of games I play, my win percentage hovers on or around 21%. 500 games in, and I’m hovering at 21%. I may go down as far as 18%, but I always work my way up, but never over. What does this mean?
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Oh yeah, nothing.

You know how when you’re a guy, and you’re at home, and there’s no one around so that you’re comfortable enough to walk around in your boxers and Cheetoes-stained wife-beater, but slightly prior to that when you still had your jeans on and you are walking towards the bathroom to engage in Number One and so you start undoing your belt somewhere between the X-Box and the pile of empty pizza boxes?

Well, when you are at work, you generally shouldn’t start going through that same motion when you’re still in the hallway 10 feet from the restroom. I’m just saying.

Listening to NPR this afternoon, I heard a story from Nevada about Voters Outreach of America intentionally discouraging Democrats from registering to vote, and tearing up their registration cards if they do. It seems plausible, considering how close the race is in that state.

I’m not naive enough to assume that this sort of behavior doesn’t happen on the liberal side of the fence, but I am disgusted all the same. Is this really something that we need to be cheating on? I mean, it’s not like it’s my 4th grade reading test. Ooops, ummm, I mean… never mind.

The thing that annoys me about Microsoft Outlook is how spell-checker comes up to correct me on words like “fianceé” or… well that’s the only word I can think of right now with a “é” in it.

It happens though; and, it annoys me as I take great pleasure in crafting an e-mail that passes through inspection without any typing errors (typing errors, not spelling errors, you see). I take it as a low-level personal affront when the spell-checker pops up, as if to say, “Ha! You can’t spell, and I will coldly correct you… idiot.” The insult is then doubled when it’s a word I know how to spell, but am unable to spell through technological ignorance. I assume there is an easy and efficient way to type a “é”, I just don’t know it or have the interest to find out.

The sad thing is (and I realize this after close, personal inspection), what I’m really concerned about is that I don’t want Microsoft Outlook to think I’m an idiot. I’m trying to impress Microsoft Outlook. I hope she likes me.

And yes, I ran this post through spell-checker to escape the possible irony of misspelling something. I am just. that. paranoid.

No "@" for Chinese man's son. Kumquat and Pommegranate still available. (via Ernie)

I’ve completed my transition into being a new truck as mentioned in the post below, and I couldn’t be happier. Well, I could be slightly happier if said truck had come with $1,000,000 for no particular reason. That’s, in fact, how I would prefer to get a million dollars, as if it were a matter of course and of no particular significance.

“Thank you for opening a free ATM withdrawal checking account, Mr. Kleeman. Here is your bank-branded novelty pen… and oh, a million dollars that I had laying around.”

To which, I would nod non-chalantly and put it demurely in my inside suit-jacket pocket without counting. Perhaps the reason this hasn’t happened to me, yet, is because I don’t wear a suit-jacket in which to put a million dollars demurely. That seems to be the most likely scenario.

>At any rate, let me assuage any fears you, The Masses, may have and whole-heartedly recommend CarsDirect.com for all your car-shopping needs. In fact, if I was more web-famous, like on a Kottke scale, I would try to work out some kind of endorsement deal with them, I like them so much. I would happily shill CarsDirect.com for a non-chalant million dollars, no problem. But seriously, $8000 less than the dealer quoted after some light negotiation, and everything I actually wanted as opposed to having to make any compromises.

You haven’t heard much from me because I don’t have much to say. The Vice Presidential debates went well for the Good Guys, I’d say, and Rodney Dangerfield passed away. I’m being a new truck. Work continues. Mount St. Helens is psuedo-erupting.

About that, though, my godparents live in Washington state… Yakima, actually. Which, somehow, does not seem to be at all affiliated with Yakima roof-racks. Coincidence? I think not.
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At any rate, my godparents live there, some 120 miles away from Mt. Saint Helens. Back in the day (where “the day” is that period of time when Mt. Saint Helens blew half her face off), Yakima was covered with ash. A few weeks after the eruption, I got an envelope in the mail with pictures of a gray landscape of backyards and neighborhoods, and a zip-loc bag full of gray ash. Coolest. thing. ever.
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Tiger Woods weds Swedish fiancee. Though his game has suffered, he has found love... and I certainly can't fault him for that.